I was reading through a popular blogger forum that I am a member of and one of the members mentioned a book that teaches young children about how babies are created.
Looking back to when my children were younger (Elementary School age) they used to ask where babies came from too. It’s only natural. All kids are curious about how they came into this world and into our family.
When my sweet, innocent, doe eyed five year old son asked me where babies came from I came up with the best scenario I could think of off the top of my head. I told him that one day Mommy and Daddy were kissing and hugging, because we love each other very much. God saw how much love we had for each other and wanted to give us a gift of a baby that we could love too. So he planted a baby inside Mommy’s belly and when it was time the doctor’s cut open Mommy’s belly and there he was, our son (and daughter). It’s not all that untrue. My husband and I do love each other and I did have an emergency C-section with my son (our daughter was born the good old fashion way).
At such a young, tender age I couldn’t imagine telling my five year old that Mommy and Daddy got naked, Daddy put his “thing” into Mommy’s “thing” and “stuff” came out and combined with Mommy’s “stuff” and it resulted in a baby. Eww… no way! TMI (too much info.)!
The book my blogger friend spoke of on the forum this evening is called My Mom’s Having a Baby! It’s written by Dori Hillestad Butler. The title sounds innocent enough, but from what I am hearing about the book, what you find within the pages of the book is what is so controversial.
To give you an idea of what you can find inside this book here is just a brief sampling…
“The man puts his penis between the woman’s legs and inside her vagina. After a while, a white liquid shoots out of the man’s penis and into the woman’s vagina.” This text comes shortly after detailed illustrations the penis and vagina.
Say what? Did I just read about a man putting his penis into a woman’s vagina and his penis shoots out a white liquid? OMG! Surely that is a typo. For the life of me I can’t imagine my kids reading this at such a young age and asking my husband and I to see our vagina or penis. YIKES!
Here is a brief news report on the book.
The book goes on to show the baby’s development month-to-month while he’s in his mother’s womb. I’m OK with that. I think it’s great to show children how a baby develops. I’m just concerned about the graphic details surrounding sexual intercourse. I think its a bit too much for a child who is four or five years old.
My daughter has books that I gave her when she was around nine years old that explained the changes her body was going to go through some day and it included illustrations. I think an older child is better able to handle such information.
My Mom’s Having a Baby! has graphic illustrations showing male and female anatomy. My concern over that is little boys and little girls saying to one another “You show me yours and I’ll show you mine”.
I personally know a family that had a horrible incident between young step siblings. The mother walked in on her step son and biological daughter naked in the daughter’s bed and the little boy was on top of her. At the time I believe the daughter was four and the son was six. His biological mother was NOT a decent person so there is no telling what he witnessed while he lived with her (this is why he was living with his father and stepmother). I think I would have died if I walked in on that. I’m afraid a book like this would make it seem like it’s OK for little boys and girls to do something like that.
I remember growing up I used to love to play house with my friends. We used to pretend we were mommies and our children were our dolls. I’m afraid a book like this, geared for young children, might encourage children to try and reenact the act of sexual intercourse graphically detailed in the book.
I’m not a prude. I’m a very open minded person. I’m sure this book would be fine for older children. I also think that it should be kept separately from other books in the libraries so that children (and parents) don’t accidentally borrow the book from the library. This is a book that MUST be read with a parent because I’m sure there will be A LOT of questions that need to be answered. Maybe this book might be better suited for the grown up section so that parents can decide if the book is right for their child, and not leave that up to a child to decide.
What do YOU think? Do you think the book goes too far? Do you think it’s acceptable to talk about a penis, vagina, and “white liquid” that shoots out with a four or five year old? Do you want your five year old daughter seeing a male’s penis (illustration) and vice versa?
I’m not one to “stir the pot” and cause a controversy. I’m just curious to know what others think about this.
Kimberly
*I was not asked to post this. I posted this because I was curious to see how others felt about this book.
About Kimberly
WOW! Just WOW! No, I am absolutely not okay with that. My daughter is 3.5 there is no way in heck I would ever read this book to her. She may not even comprehend it all at this point, but she’ll remember it forever, I think it’s scarring. It’s scary and it is no way to describe this magical time when a mother is having a new baby.
I honestly think a simple explanation about love and wanting a new baby and when a couple love each other and when they’re ready they use a seed to get mommy pregnant. I think that is simple enough until about 6-7 after that a few more details are okay, I personally don’t think this is acceptable until 12 or so. Truly! This is a messed up book.
I think kids should be kids and stay innocent and not be exposed to or told about adult situations that they’re too young to understand. As you said a child that doesn’t understand might try to act this out. I
When they have questions as all kids do answer them as honestly as possible for their age without going into too much detail. After all, kids can be satisfied with a simple answer.
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YIKES is all I can say. I would NEVER ever let any of my kids read that at such a young age, EVER> Keep them as innocent as you can, for as long as you can, I always say.
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Hi – great discussion. I personally think that this subject is a little old for preschoolers. It’s better to just answer questions as they come and give just enough to answer their questions.
I remember when I was a nanny (for a 4 year old girl) she was drawing a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden – she had drawn both the female and the male in all their glory. Talk about shock! I was a little worried that something happened but I didn’t want to big deal of it – so I asked her where she had seen people like that? She said she had a book – (it was a childrens book of the body) – what a relief! (The picture discreetly disappeared afterwards)
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“Porn for kids”? That’s a bit over the top, isn’t it?
Of course it’s educational, but I agree it’s more suited for older kids.
After just reading your one excerpt, I can easily say that I absolutely would not support this book, and am amazed that a publisher would accept and print it. In my opinion, It’s completely out of line with educating or informing our children in a responsible and loving manner. I think it sounds harsh, unnecessary, and confusing to say the least.
Absolutely would not read this to my young children. The text is not appropriate for their ages (2,5). Children at this age have trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy. I see nothing wrong with tales of the stork or tooth fairy. Let’s keep adolescence magical for as long as possible. Yes the sex discussion needs to happen but not until the pre-teen years and at that point the book with its whimsical illustrations and elementary text would be remedial for them. It’s a no-go either way!
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I just saw this on the news and I must say I can’t even imagine this for kids! If you tore out the page where the parents are having sex, then I think it would be nice for kids ages 6 and up or so.
Kids want to “play/pretend” to be grown ups and this would only give them the wrong idea!
Just so you know, you people are really narrow-minded and in denial of the fact that sex is a part of our nature. That’s ok if you people want to live in a delusion and never want to talk about the “naughty act” that created you, but trying to keep your kids in the dark about it is only gonna mess up their perception of sex and psychologically harm them.
What’s wrong with showing your kid what you look like naked? Why does this shame of our own bodies still exist in the 21st century? Your kids really don’t deserve this. They should look at their bodies and sex in a good way, not something that is wrong or should be hidden. Don’t you guys see the damage you do to these fresh new minds?
Look, all I’m saying is that I think you guys are fucking your kids up doing this, and that maybe you change your OWN narrow perception on sex, instead of confusing your kids like your parents confused you about it. It’s not fair man.
Amazingly disgusting! CHILDREN do not need this kind of pornography.. Children are already having babies. Isn’t there enough cramp and inmorality on T.V. to go into detail like that this women’s so called “book” I’d call it trash and needs to be in some sort of pornographic store. Not in a library and not in children’s hands!
The amount of detail put into this book is astounding. It is great to see that someone has put forth a truthful book that doesn’t involve lies or imaginary creatures inseminating women or animals delivering babies by airmail. This controversy was most likely stirred up to get people to be against the book, but I will certainly be seeking out a copy for my 5 yr old. She is very detail oriented and interested in science, and this will be a great resource for her. Our society’s dissaproval of sexuality and the human state is nothing more than a remnant of the Victorian era and of a religious set that is oppressive and distainful of women. This dissapproval is further enforced by fear mongering that our children will become sexually active at a ridiculously young age if we tell them the truth; such claims are blatantly fallacious. Children are much more likely to make more well thought out decisions if they have all of the information; it does not blur their judgement or “confuse” them… My child is more than intelligent enough to not be “confused” by such material, and is never satisfied with a simple answer (which we try to avoid giving her in the first place).
I am a teacher, and in the past have taught 8th grade Health. Needless to say, I found myself 9 months pregnant with my second child while teaching sex education to my students one year. Oy!
I am not familiar with this book. To me it sounds like a poor use of words to tell it like it is, but clearly not for K-4th graders. When you look at sex education, it needs to be developmentally appropriate for children. This seems to step way over the line. I was going to defend the author/publisher with the fact that just because a book is a picture book, does NOT mean that it is intended for young children. There are many books that I have used in my classroom for other subjects (science/math/history) that were intended for middle schoolers and up. While not approving of this in any way, I question what the intent of the author and publishing company really is. Was this a shock the public PR stunt – or something else especially with the sweet and innocent cover art (which may have been done by a different illustrator)?
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I don’t see anything wrong with using the correct terms.
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I believe in using correct terms when necessary, but I really don’t think I would really want my daughter even at the age of 7 to have this. I personally think it is better to talk with her and explain things to her. Why do I need a book after all? I think I do know how my daughter came about, and when she asks, I tell her.
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