I am very sorry for not posting much on my blog the past few days. Hopefully when you learn the reason why you will forgive me. My regular blog readers know that I tend to post almost daily, sometimes several posts per day. I haven’t done that in the past couple of weeks. But I have a good reason.

A couple of weeks ago I received a phone call from the local animal shelter asking if I would be interesting in fostering a pair of kittens that were 7-10 days old. When I got there they told me they were a week old. I found out about a week later that they were 1-2 days old when I picked them up. Please note that I have never cared for newborn kittens before, nor have I ever bottle fed baby animals either.

I was given a brother and sister named Lenny and Fran. The names did not suit them. Since Fran was VERY tiny (she was half the size of Lenny) we kept saying she was a “mini kitten”. The name Minnie sort of stuck so we started to call the kittens Mickey and Minnie. As a huge Disney fan I thought that was kind of cute too.

Initially things were a bit bumpy. Minnie wouldn’t suckle on the bottle and Mickey had a hard time having bowel movements. I was on the phone with the shelter and with their vet. I wanted to bring them into their vet but the vet told me to try this and that and see if it worked.

A week ago Friday Mickey stopped eating well. He would dribble everything out. He used to eat great up until that point. He also sounded congested to me and had a weird “clicking” noise when he breathed. Minnie also didn’t have a bowel movement. Out of concern I called the shelter up asking them to please let me bring them in to be looked at something, or make arrangements with their vet to have them looked at. They told me to come in and the vet tech would take a look at them.

The vet tech told me they were the best looking bottle fed babies he’s seen in the 18 years he’s been working with animals. He also told me that Mickey was a GIRL, not a boy. Ugh! He also told me that Mickey sounded fine and she was not congested. He did hear the weird clicking noise but didn’t know what it was. He also supposedly got Minnie to have a bowel movement. He told me they looked great and to call back in a few days and let him know if I’m still having problems. this was on Wednesday.

This past Friday I was going to NYC for an I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter recipe contest. I was one of the finalists. I was going to NYC to make my toast recipes (Kimberly’s Apple Pie Toast) for the judges. The grand prize was $5,000, $600 towards bread and a year’s supply of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. I was totally nervous. I have never done anything like this before. Plus the four other finalists had amazing recipes. It was a honor to be one of the finalists.

I know many people can relate to money “woes”. That $5,000 would have been a God send. We recently had to cancel our phone because we can’t afford it anymore and need to find more ways to cut corners and expenses. That $5,000 couldn’t have come at a better time. We really need the money.

Thursday Mickey took a turn for the worst. We actually changed her name to Emma when we found out “he” was a “she”. She didn’t seem well at all. I called around at various vets to get a price quote to see how much it would cost to get her checked out. Obviously the shelter was not going to help me provide her with vet care so I was going to have to pay for it myself. That made winning that $5,000 even more important to me because I knew I could take the kittens to the vet and get them any medical attention they needed.

Thursday night I had a hard time sleeping. I was tossing and turning all night. I was worried about Emma and nervous about the recipe contest and thinking about how much I needed to win and how important the money would be to my family. I don’t think I slept much at all.

The car service was coming to get me at 6:30 AM. I got up at 5:30 to take a shower. After I showered, did my hair and make up I went to go and feed the kittens. I didn’t get dressed yet because the kittens have a habit of dribbling their formula on your clothing and sometimes they have accidents and pee on you. I didn’t want to go to the recipe contest smelling like cat urine or formula.

I took Emma out first because she hasn’t been eating and I wanted to make sure she ate right away. When I reached in to take her out of their crate she let out a God awful scream. When I went to cradle her she just flopped around in my arms. She was gasping for air. She couldn’t breath!!! You could clearly see she was struggling. My heart burst out of my chest!!! I didn’t know what to do.

My husband, still in his pajamas, took Emma from me and put her in the crate then handed me Minnie and rushed out the door to get her to the 24 hour vet hospital. That left me with Minnie who was crying to be fed and my young son asleep in his room. My daughter was at a friend’s house for a sleep over. Thankfully my husband took off to watch the kids and the kittens for me while I was in the city for the recipe contest.

At that point the car service was going to be there to get me in about a 1/2 hour. I had a small kitten without a crate to put her in and my young son asleep in his room and my husband racing to the hospital with Emma to get her help. I think I died on the spot. I think I couldn’t breath either. Tears were pouring out of my eyes. I was crying so much that my eyes were actually burning. I was in such a panic and I didn’t know what to do. I was BEYOND upset about Emma and I couldn’t just up and leave my son home alone while my husband was at the hospital. I also had nothing to put Minnie in. I couldn’t just leave her anywhere because she was less then 3 weeks old and I don’t trust our dog. It was 6 AM . I had no one to come over and help me.

I didn’t know what to do. I ended up making a decision that I’m sure many people will think I’m a total fool for doing – I called the car service and cancelled my ride to the city for the recipe contest. I couldn’t leave my son and I know for a FACT I would have been worried about Emma all day. I am a huge animal lover and I couldn’t get the image of her struggling to breath from my mind. How was I suppose to give the recipe contest 100% of my heart and soul with everything that went on that morning?

Emma had to be put to sleep. The doctor wasn’t 100% positive but he feels that she had something called FIP which is 100% fatal. There is no cure for it. There was nothing they could do for her. My husband said they put a syringe down her throat and pulled up a lot of yellow fluid. The doctor said the best thing to do was to put her to sleep so she didn’t have to struggle to breath anymore.

Oh my God! Just writing about this makes me crying. The tears are streaming from my eyes right now.

I am VERY upset with the shelter for not giving her proper care. I TOLD them she was congested and the vet tech told me she sounded perfectly fine. Even after I left the shelter I could tell she was congested. That is why all day Thursday I called around to find a vet I could afford to take her too.

Between Emma suffering and having to be put down (I really can’t get the image of her struggling to breath out of my mind), missing the recipe contest and balling my eyes out I was emotionally and physically drained. So much so I couldn’t function at all. I literally could not function.

The vet said that it’s possible Minnie might have it too. We took her to the vet on Friday and she appears to be OK but we have to keep an eye out for any changes in her eating or energy levels. Minnie is also ours. There is no way after all that has happened and being emotionally invested in the kittens that we would give her back now We will be officially adopting her down the road. We’ve already paid for the vet bill and a de-worming out of our own pockets.

Today, Saturday, I was still a bit “out of it” but for the sake of my kids (my son was VERY upset and cried just as much as I did) I pulled myself together. I couldn’t help thinking about missing the recipe contest (could I have possibly won?) and Emma.

Things didn’t get any better. I was walking into the kitchen via the living room and I noticed blood on the floor. Once of our cats was throwing up a hairball earlier in the day. Any blood cannot be good, even if it’s just a hairball.

I looked around for more blood and I didn’t see anything. My husband thought maybe one of the cats cut themselves on something. Since they were all scattered about the condo we had to go and look for them.

I went to look inside of this cat play tube that we have to see if one of the cats was haning out in there. I happened to notice something shiny inside, like a liquid. When I tipped the tube on it’s side BLOOD came pouring out. Oh no!!!!

After checking out the cats and our dog we discovered the blood was coming from my grandfather’s cat, Bear. Bear is staying with us for two weeks while my grandfather is at my sister’s house being cared for after having surgery. He fractured his shoulder and needs help caring for himself (he’s 87). Some how someone came up with the not-so-brilliant idea that we baby sit his cat for two weeks. My father is in the UK or else he’d take care of her.

Bear has been miserable here since day one. She was ripped from the only home she’s known for the past 15+ years (she just turned 16 this June) into a tiny condo with four adult cats and a dog. She hasn’t eaten much at all. I do see her drink but not as often as I’d like. She has only been in the litter box once that we’ve seen. We figured she might go in there at night.

We rushed Bear to the vet down the street to check her out. They took blood tests (the results won’t be in until Monday) but he’s treating her for a urinary tract infection. He gave us antibiotics to give her. The only problem is she can’t take them unless she eats or she’ll throw up. Bear won’t eat!!! We tried to get her to eat but she won’t. We’ve also tried to give her the medication and she spits it out. She accidental bit me earlier too. It doesn’t help that the vet bill was $280. Thankfully my grandfather will reimburse us.

So now we have one foster kitten, Minnie, who we are worried about. FIP can be contagioius to other kittens/cats and there is no cure and it’s fatal. I’m hoping and praying that she doesn’t have it. I also have to worry about my grandfather’s cat Bear. She’s not eating or drinking at this point, or taking her medication. If any thing happend to her while in our care I could never live with that grief and guilt. Bear means the world to my grandfather. Ever since my grandmother died Bear has been his only source of companionship. My grandparents are the ones who raised me so technically they are my mom and dad.

The past few days have been an emotional roller coaster for me. I feel very “out of it”. I don’t handle grief or sadness very well. I can’t stop worrying about Bear and Minnie. I can’t get the image of Mickey/Emma out of my head and I feel horrible about the recipe contest. I feel like I let so many people down by not going. I didn’t know what else to do. What would YOU have done if you were in my place?

I can’t help but wonder if I had a chancde of winning. That $5,000 would have been amazing.

So that is where I have been the past few days. I WILL get back on track. I promise. I just needed some time to grieve the loss and get over missing the recipe contest.

RIP sweet baby Mickey/Emma. Even though your time with us was too brief you brought many smiles to our faces and a lot of love in our hearts. We hope that you are in a better place right now, watching over your sister Minnie.

Kimberly

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