I am very sorry for not posting much on my blog the past few days. Hopefully when you learn the reason why you will forgive me. My regular blog readers know that I tend to post almost daily, sometimes several posts per day. I haven’t done that in the past couple of weeks. But I have a good reason.
A couple of weeks ago I received a phone call from the local animal shelter asking if I would be interesting in fostering a pair of kittens that were 7-10 days old. When I got there they told me they were a week old. I found out about a week later that they were 1-2 days old when I picked them up. Please note that I have never cared for newborn kittens before, nor have I ever bottle fed baby animals either.
I was given a brother and sister named Lenny and Fran. The names did not suit them. Since Fran was VERY tiny (she was half the size of Lenny) we kept saying she was a “mini kitten”. The name Minnie sort of stuck so we started to call the kittens Mickey and Minnie. As a huge Disney fan I thought that was kind of cute too.
Initially things were a bit bumpy. Minnie wouldn’t suckle on the bottle and Mickey had a hard time having bowel movements. I was on the phone with the shelter and with their vet. I wanted to bring them into their vet but the vet told me to try this and that and see if it worked.
A week ago Friday Mickey stopped eating well. He would dribble everything out. He used to eat great up until that point. He also sounded congested to me and had a weird “clicking” noise when he breathed. Minnie also didn’t have a bowel movement. Out of concern I called the shelter up asking them to please let me bring them in to be looked at something, or make arrangements with their vet to have them looked at. They told me to come in and the vet tech would take a look at them.
The vet tech told me they were the best looking bottle fed babies he’s seen in the 18 years he’s been working with animals. He also told me that Mickey was a GIRL, not a boy. Ugh! He also told me that Mickey sounded fine and she was not congested. He did hear the weird clicking noise but didn’t know what it was. He also supposedly got Minnie to have a bowel movement. He told me they looked great and to call back in a few days and let him know if I’m still having problems. this was on Wednesday.
This past Friday I was going to NYC for an I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter recipe contest. I was one of the finalists. I was going to NYC to make my toast recipes (Kimberly’s Apple Pie Toast) for the judges. The grand prize was $5,000, $600 towards bread and a year’s supply of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. I was totally nervous. I have never done anything like this before. Plus the four other finalists had amazing recipes. It was a honor to be one of the finalists.
I know many people can relate to money “woes”. That $5,000 would have been a God send. We recently had to cancel our phone because we can’t afford it anymore and need to find more ways to cut corners and expenses. That $5,000 couldn’t have come at a better time. We really need the money.
Thursday Mickey took a turn for the worst. We actually changed her name to Emma when we found out “he” was a “she”. She didn’t seem well at all. I called around at various vets to get a price quote to see how much it would cost to get her checked out. Obviously the shelter was not going to help me provide her with vet care so I was going to have to pay for it myself. That made winning that $5,000 even more important to me because I knew I could take the kittens to the vet and get them any medical attention they needed.
Thursday night I had a hard time sleeping. I was tossing and turning all night. I was worried about Emma and nervous about the recipe contest and thinking about how much I needed to win and how important the money would be to my family. I don’t think I slept much at all.
The car service was coming to get me at 6:30 AM. I got up at 5:30 to take a shower. After I showered, did my hair and make up I went to go and feed the kittens. I didn’t get dressed yet because the kittens have a habit of dribbling their formula on your clothing and sometimes they have accidents and pee on you. I didn’t want to go to the recipe contest smelling like cat urine or formula.
I took Emma out first because she hasn’t been eating and I wanted to make sure she ate right away. When I reached in to take her out of their crate she let out a God awful scream. When I went to cradle her she just flopped around in my arms. She was gasping for air. She couldn’t breath!!! You could clearly see she was struggling. My heart burst out of my chest!!! I didn’t know what to do.
My husband, still in his pajamas, took Emma from me and put her in the crate then handed me Minnie and rushed out the door to get her to the 24 hour vet hospital. That left me with Minnie who was crying to be fed and my young son asleep in his room. My daughter was at a friend’s house for a sleep over. Thankfully my husband took off to watch the kids and the kittens for me while I was in the city for the recipe contest.
At that point the car service was going to be there to get me in about a 1/2 hour. I had a small kitten without a crate to put her in and my young son asleep in his room and my husband racing to the hospital with Emma to get her help. I think I died on the spot. I think I couldn’t breath either. Tears were pouring out of my eyes. I was crying so much that my eyes were actually burning. I was in such a panic and I didn’t know what to do. I was BEYOND upset about Emma and I couldn’t just up and leave my son home alone while my husband was at the hospital. I also had nothing to put Minnie in. I couldn’t just leave her anywhere because she was less then 3 weeks old and I don’t trust our dog. It was 6 AM . I had no one to come over and help me.
I didn’t know what to do. I ended up making a decision that I’m sure many people will think I’m a total fool for doing – I called the car service and cancelled my ride to the city for the recipe contest. I couldn’t leave my son and I know for a FACT I would have been worried about Emma all day. I am a huge animal lover and I couldn’t get the image of her struggling to breath from my mind. How was I suppose to give the recipe contest 100% of my heart and soul with everything that went on that morning?
Emma had to be put to sleep. The doctor wasn’t 100% positive but he feels that she had something called FIP which is 100% fatal. There is no cure for it. There was nothing they could do for her. My husband said they put a syringe down her throat and pulled up a lot of yellow fluid. The doctor said the best thing to do was to put her to sleep so she didn’t have to struggle to breath anymore.
Oh my God! Just writing about this makes me crying. The tears are streaming from my eyes right now. 🙁
I am VERY upset with the shelter for not giving her proper care. I TOLD them she was congested and the vet tech told me she sounded perfectly fine. Even after I left the shelter I could tell she was congested. That is why all day Thursday I called around to find a vet I could afford to take her too.
Between Emma suffering and having to be put down (I really can’t get the image of her struggling to breath out of my mind), missing the recipe contest and balling my eyes out I was emotionally and physically drained. So much so I couldn’t function at all. I literally could not function.
The vet said that it’s possible Minnie might have it too. We took her to the vet on Friday and she appears to be OK but we have to keep an eye out for any changes in her eating or energy levels. Minnie is also ours. There is no way after all that has happened and being emotionally invested in the kittens that we would give her back now We will be officially adopting her down the road. We’ve already paid for the vet bill and a de-worming out of our own pockets.
Today, Saturday, I was still a bit “out of it” but for the sake of my kids (my son was VERY upset and cried just as much as I did) I pulled myself together. I couldn’t help thinking about missing the recipe contest (could I have possibly won?) and Emma.
Things didn’t get any better. I was walking into the kitchen via the living room and I noticed blood on the floor. Once of our cats was throwing up a hairball earlier in the day. Any blood cannot be good, even if it’s just a hairball.
I looked around for more blood and I didn’t see anything. My husband thought maybe one of the cats cut themselves on something. Since they were all scattered about the condo we had to go and look for them.
I went to look inside of this cat play tube that we have to see if one of the cats was haning out in there. I happened to notice something shiny inside, like a liquid. When I tipped the tube on it’s side BLOOD came pouring out. Oh no!!!!
After checking out the cats and our dog we discovered the blood was coming from my grandfather’s cat, Bear. Bear is staying with us for two weeks while my grandfather is at my sister’s house being cared for after having surgery. He fractured his shoulder and needs help caring for himself (he’s 87). Some how someone came up with the not-so-brilliant idea that we baby sit his cat for two weeks. My father is in the UK or else he’d take care of her.
Bear has been miserable here since day one. She was ripped from the only home she’s known for the past 15+ years (she just turned 16 this June) into a tiny condo with four adult cats and a dog. She hasn’t eaten much at all. I do see her drink but not as often as I’d like. She has only been in the litter box once that we’ve seen. We figured she might go in there at night.
We rushed Bear to the vet down the street to check her out. They took blood tests (the results won’t be in until Monday) but he’s treating her for a urinary tract infection. He gave us antibiotics to give her. The only problem is she can’t take them unless she eats or she’ll throw up. Bear won’t eat!!! We tried to get her to eat but she won’t. We’ve also tried to give her the medication and she spits it out. She accidental bit me earlier too. It doesn’t help that the vet bill was $280. Thankfully my grandfather will reimburse us.
So now we have one foster kitten, Minnie, who we are worried about. FIP can be contagioius to other kittens/cats and there is no cure and it’s fatal. I’m hoping and praying that she doesn’t have it. I also have to worry about my grandfather’s cat Bear. She’s not eating or drinking at this point, or taking her medication. If any thing happend to her while in our care I could never live with that grief and guilt. Bear means the world to my grandfather. Ever since my grandmother died Bear has been his only source of companionship. My grandparents are the ones who raised me so technically they are my mom and dad.
The past few days have been an emotional roller coaster for me. I feel very “out of it”. I don’t handle grief or sadness very well. I can’t stop worrying about Bear and Minnie. I can’t get the image of Mickey/Emma out of my head and I feel horrible about the recipe contest. I feel like I let so many people down by not going. I didn’t know what else to do. What would YOU have done if you were in my place?
I can’t help but wonder if I had a chancde of winning. That $5,000 would have been amazing.
So that is where I have been the past few days. I WILL get back on track. I promise. I just needed some time to grieve the loss and get over missing the recipe contest.
RIP sweet baby Mickey/Emma. Even though your time with us was too brief you brought many smiles to our faces and a lot of love in our hearts. We hope that you are in a better place right now, watching over your sister Minnie. 🙁
Kimberly
Miriam T. says
I don’t even have words for what you have had to go through…I’m sending you prayers for hope, comfort, and peace. 🙂
Wanda M says
Oh my gosh sweetie, I saw your FB posts yesterday about the GC’s. I have tears in my eyes thinking about all of this. You sound like such a wonderful woman, you did the same thing I would have done, stayed home to take care of these innocent things that have no one but us! Just think of it as “would you have won the lottery that day?” Hmmm, never know but they needed you more than you taking that chance! 🙂
mmbear says
oh, Kimberly, I am so sorry you had a rough week. I am not much a cat person more a dog person but I know how you feel. My little Yorkie has had a few minor things go wrong and it scared me to death. The kittens are so cute. The one that is being held is that Minnie? Or did you get a shot of Emma before she was taken? My daughter has a soft spot for animals also but she lives on disability too and she takes in these dogs all the time. Now one has had puppies and I told her you need to take them to the humane society and let them fnd homes while they are young. Older animals are harder to find homes for. I told her it is not fair to the puppies to have to suffer because you won’t be able to get their shots, dewormed and all the other necessary shots. And like the vet said, once one gets sick it spreads. Especially parvo. So, whether she listens to me or not, I don’t know. I hope so because I know if something happens she will be upset just like you were.
Hopefully, there will be other recipe contests you can enter. I see them all the time on the internet and in magazines. What kind of recipe were you going to make? I mean like desserts, apps or main course? I can keep an eye out and when I see one let you know. If you can be a finalist in one, then you have just as good a shot in another one. Don’t give up. It can happen again. Maybe you can call them up and let them know what happened and then ask them to please let you know when they have another contest so you can enter that one. I know several sites that will have a new contest for recipe just about every 4-6 months. Maybe they do, too. Can’t hurt to find out. Good Luck.
mmbear_us@yahoo.com
anne says
i’m sorry to hear all this. nature is brutal and sadly often money decides whether or not an animal lives. hope the others are okay.
DomesticButNotMartha says
Omgosh. Darling. I will pray for you so much. I know that this had to be very, very hard. Try not to focus on the what if’s (trust me, I am a what-if’er like crazy) and know that you did all you could to help those kittens.You are an amazing person through and through and I will pray very hard for your economic providence and your heart.
Love
Crystal
Domestic, But Not Martha
Gerri Dumas Domicolo says
Is your Grandfathers home close to you? Maybe Bear would be happier and eat if he was in his own home and someone came in everyday and few and visited him…
I would have done exactly what you did and stayed home.No matter what choice you had made you would still be sayng “what if?” What if I stayed home or what if I went….
So sorry for your loss,but know that she felt love in her short little life.That’s what is important <3
Allison says
I too am a huge animal lover, so there’s no question in my mind I would have done the same thing. Sorry you missed the contest and about Emma. Hopefully Bear & Minnie will be ok.
Pansy says
Since you asked, I don’t think I would have missed the contest, I mean that’s a 1 in 5 chance of winning money that’s desperately needed by your family. I would have called the house where my daughter was staying and gotten her home asap to watch my son until hubby returned. I much as animals need us, I could never put any animal above my family.
Barbara M says
Got tears in my eye reading your post – I’m a mega cat lover!
I’m so sorry you had to go through all of this.
I understand and admire you for staying home.
You’re priorities are in the right place.
Hugs and warm thoughts.
Tracy @ Ascending Butterfly says
Animal Shelters are notorious for doing things like this to foster families, and I think it’s terrible, especially since for the most part the foster families have kids, and kids tend to not understand these things. You did the absolute best for them that you could!
Does the company know from the recipe contest about why you cancelled and what happened? Maybe their competition is seasonal and not just one time?
You made the right choice at the time and that’s what counts!
Jessica says
Oh Kimberly, God bless you for taking those poor kitties in! My heart aches reading your story, I can barely manage to walk around most animal shelters so I know how emotional this all must have been for you and your family. The animal shelters in my area are so profit drive, it really makes me mad when I hear about them denying animals care that they desperately need and then hoping potential foster families will foot the bill.
deb c says
How awful. Just reading about it made my eyes start tearing up. Plus, I was getting upset with the animal shelter for putting you through that.
Ellen Christian says
I am so sorry for what you’re going through. I cannot imagine your heart ache. I would have made exactly the same decision to stay home that you did. God will provide in the end and I will pray for both the kitties and your family!
Springchicken says
I feel awful for you Kimberly. I back you up 100% for not leaving your son alone. There will be other contests and you will get back on track. From what I can tell from your posts, you make things happen and will have good outcomes in the future. Just think of this as a temporary setback. I do have one bit of advice and that is to get someone local who you can call in an emergency.
Katharina says
I am *so* very sorry to hear this. RIP Mickey/Emma. What a dear kitty. For what it’s worth, I’d have made the same decision and couldn’t have possibly gone off to the contest when I wanted to be home with my family. Never. There will be other contests.
I hope Minnie remains in good health and thrives.
Emmy says
I think you really did make the best choice given the situation. Sometimes when things like this happen and you are left looking at all the “what if’s” something happens to make it all make sense and work out. I’m sorry about Emma and I hope your grandfather’s cat is OK, but I think that something will work out on the financial side of things for you and your family.
Michele L says
What a horrible time you’ve had! I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this. It’s terrible you got no support from the shelter. I agree with so many comments – you made the best decision for your family at the time…it’s hard to think of options when it’s last minute and your emotions are all over the place.
My prayers will be with you.
april yedinak says
I really feel for you. I love animals and I have had to deal with a lot of illness and deaths. I seem to always attract strays where I live and most of the time I get them healthy and find them homes, but sometimes I have to take them to a shelter. Most recently I rescued a kitten that was abandoned at 4-5 weeks old. It was the cutest little thing, but it started having serious problems and I can not afford veterinary care beyond the most basic vaccinations. So, I had to take her to the shelter. I have felt guilty every since, but I know staying with me without the money to get her condition treated would have led to suffering and probably death. Hopefully this way she either was treated or humanely euthanized. That is the 3rd animal I have had to take to the shelter this year and I am emotionally burned out. If only humans would responsibly get their animals neutered/spayed, we wouldn’t have these tragic situations. As far as the contest, stop beating yourself up- you made a difficult choice and you should be proud of the fact that you stayed true to your character instead of chasing a dollar at all costs.
Katie Mitchell says
Hope things start going better for you and Bear gets better, will she let you handfeed her?
Patti Hess says
Oh sweetie I am sorry you have had a rough time of it! {{{{{{hugs}}}}}} I sure hope everything is better and I pray that you know you are an AWESOME POSSUM person! I imagine not able to go for the money was heart breaking but you took the high road and stayed with little Minnie! I am happy to say I know you!!! I WISH I could give you money for what you missed out on but I can’t …..God will bless you my friend….Thank you for taking the high road…Thank you for taking care of one of Gods creatures….
Lisa Weidknecht says
I’m praying for you.
Pamela Pinta says
Kimberly you are a true angel! Thank goodness for people like you who love animals unconditionally. It will get better.
Karen R says
Just reading this was so emotional for me. I’m sorry for the loss of Mickey/Emma. I hope the other kitten is healthy and Bear eats and you can get him to take his medication. Don’t think about what could have been. Blessings.
debbie says
I am sorry to hear about everything. As to getting your grandfather’s cat to eat. If you took him in a room and closed the door, and gave him a bit of tuna, salmon or canned chicken (you actually might have to try all three), I bet he would eat a little of it.
momznite says
too sad
sending good wishes your way
Lori A. says
So very sorry to hear of all you’ve been through lately. I don’t know what I would have done in your situation. You did what you could and what you thought was best and that’s all you can do. God Bless You!
Shilo Beedy says
I think people will understand about the contest and why you couldn’t go. So sad about the kittens and you did your best to take care of them. Maybe you can take something that smells like your grandfather something he has touched and put it in a spot for Bear to lay near. Maybe even have him call if he is able to and talk to Bear for a bit which I know sounds silly. I know this is stuff that my different family members have done when they had someone else watch there pets. Maybe with the Bear being so old it may have trouble seeing so maybe put everything it needs right nearby in a little area.
Gen says
{{{HUGS}}} I’m so sorry about Emma. I’ll be praying for Bear and Minnie.
Gwen says
Oops I spelled my name wrong for post 20.
This is Gwen
Take care.
Arianah Watts says
So sorry to hear. You are a great mommy to your fur babies and they are very lucky to have you by their side. Hope you feel better soon…take care 🙂
Tom Ewer says
That’s so sad 🙁 so sorry to hear about that. I hope all are better soon 🙂
Lisa L says
It makes me sad just reading your post. *sigh*. If only everything could have worked out for the best. But sometimes life isn’t fair..there’s nothing really you could have done. You tried your best and that’s all you can do. I hope Bear & Minnie get better soon.
Mari says
I am an animal lover and I would have done the same thing. You have a huge heart and a pure soul.
I will pray for you.
Hedy says
Oh my, I’m tearing up reading this post. Hugs.
Katie says
I’m so sorry Kimberly. I know a lot about FIP because we thought our cat had it – fortunately it turned out to be something else, but it is a horribly sad disease. I hope that Minnie is fine and so are all of the other cats.
You are a wonderful person. I know it seems like a horrible situation right now, but your selflessness will be rewarded. I’ll be sending lots of positivity your way.
Kathleen says
I am sorry to hear about Emma! A
Kathleen says
Sorry, I pressed the wrong button. I was going to say, that as someone who has fostered newborns in the past and lost a few along the way, it is never easy. You are giving them a much better chance than they would have had otherwise though and hopefully Minnie will pull through just fine! {Hugs}
Colleen Turner says
I am so sorry for your lost! I know how devastated you all must be but I hope you know what a wonderful thing you have done in taking these precious little kittens into your home and loving them. Otherwise neither kitty would have stood a chance. I am so sorry you also missed your competition and I can imagine how much that prize would have meant. There is a special place for kind people like you all and I hope you know that. I will be thinking about you and your family!
Auriette says
My heart is breaking for you right now for everything you are going through. God be with you, and with Bear and Minnie. I believe that our pets go to heaven, so that is where Emma is, happy and out of pain. I won’t go into details, but I understand the painful choices you had to make and your frustration with the shelter vet. Everything you have experienced, my husband and I have had something either the same or very similar. I have prayed for you and your family. I wish I had the kind of money to just write you a check to help you through this tough time. All I can do, though, is to wish you many blessings to come.
Debbie Stanton says
You don’t need to apologize for not posting… you are right to take care of you and your family + pets first. I am so sorry life has been so hard for your lately… hang in there… the heartbreak will pass and your life will be full of smiles and happiness.
Shop with Me Mama (Kim) says
I am so sorry Kimberly 🙁 I think you made the right decision. You care about your family and your sweet pets and that shows. You are an amazing woman and mommy. Many hugs to you and prayers that your kitty will not have what her sister had and that Bear will be okay!!!!
blueviolet @ A Nut in a Nutshell says
My heart is just breaking for you. I’m so very sorry that you’ve been through so much, and that you lost one of the kitties. I hope that Bear will get stronger every day!
Christi says
Oh, that is so sad! I can’t imagine how hard that was. Hope Bear gets better and better!
trisha says
aww man, i am so so sorry. I have lost pets and its REALLY sad. My heart broke last year. But its amazing you fostered them and I know you are trying hard.
You are an angel.
trisha
Lee says
I’ve been thinking about you non stop. Write me when you are ready to talk. <3
Lee
GrandmaAllen says
Kimberly, Sorry that you had to have such a rough time with your pets, they do get to be like family. They need a lot of love & care. You are to be commended for caring so much that you missed the recipe contest. Hopefully the opportunity will come along again. Just keep in mind that you grew in character and stamina that day. Your children will remember you for your strength and love during these rough times. May God bless you and your family for caring for these animals.
JulieD says
Kimberly,
I’m so sorry for your loss, I can imagine what you’re going through is very rough. You said you don’t handle grief very well, most people can’t so don’t be so hard on yourself. Please let us know if there’s anything we can do.
Thinking of you and your family, I’m so sorry! I hope the other kitten ends up being fine & Bear starts eating soon.
Kiran says
So sorry for your loss Kimberly. Sending you loads of positive thoughts, hugs and prayer.
Tammy says
Aw Kimberly, I was thinking about you on Friday – and saw your twitter postings – I felt so sad for you 🙁
Crystal @ Simply Being Mommy says
Oh my gosh, Kimberly, I’m so so sorry. {{hugs}}
Brandi @ Flip Flop Mama says
Oh goodness, you’ve had a rough time. I hope things get back on track for you soon!
Jen @ Jen Spends says
As someone who was despondent for days over a little parakeet dying, I know how you feel. I’m really sorry for your loss, but happy that little kitten had loving care during her short life.
Penelope says
Oh, that is so sad…I’m so sorry for Mickey-Emma 🙁
Michelle @A Happy Hippy Mom says
I’m so sorry Kim! (((HUGS)))
Kayla says
Aw, Kimberly, I have NO idea what to say!
I’m so sorry about everything-I hope and pray that things just continue to go uphill from here, and there are no other setbacks or days like you had O.o
Courtney says
I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss and pray for Bear and Minnie and others that they don’t get FIP. You’ve been through so much in a little time – God bless and hope everything clears up soon!
Zippy says
Oh Kim, I’m so so sorry for your loss. It’s so hard to lose a pet, and the short time doesn’t matter, because it’s so easy to fall in love with them immediately. The others are in my thoughts and hope that they will be fine. h
Jennifer says
It sounded horrible, sorry for the loss and sorry you missed your contest. You’ve got a big heart.
Hey Jen says
I’m so so sorry for your loss. It doesn’t take much time for a pet to become a very beloved part of the family. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Angie B. says
I’m so sorry for the loss of your kitten and I hope things all around get better for you. We recently lost a dog on 6/16 (on my birthday no less). My son took it harder than anyone since he was the main one to take care of him. Not many people would miss the opportunity you did and that just means you are a kind, loving soul.
Melissa says
I’m so sorry! Sending hugs. Please keep us up to date with Minnie and Bear.