I am beyond devastated right now. I dare not let my husband or children know how I feel. I’m afraid if I start to talk about it I’m going to start balling my eyes out. I hate crying in front of my kids.
Ever since I was a little girl I have always dreamed of having a house. I have always envisioned what my dream house would look like.
When my husband and I eloped we didn’t even have a placed to live. For five months after we married my husband lived with his mom and I lived with my parents. We were an hour’s drive away from one another. We were young and didn’t give it much thought when we jumped into getting married. Having a place to live afterwards should have been our top priority.
We didn’t have much money and we were desperate to find a place. When my husband found our condo, at a price we could afford, we jumped on the opportunity without much thought of the future. By the time we found this place I was already pregnant. Even thought it’s a one bedroom condo we knew we could turn the dining room into a bedroom for our daughter.
We never gave much thought to having another child. A little over two years later our son was born. Having the kids share the converted dining room worked out great for an infant and a toddler. After a couple of years we realized the kids outgrew the small room. We eventually ended up giving the kids the master bedroom (only bedroom) and my husband and I moved into the living room. We started off with a sofa bed, then moved on to air mattresses, a daybed/trundle combo and now we’re back to a sofa bed.
We have always wanted to move but the market has never played in our favor. FINALLY the cost of houses has dropped and we are finding houses that we can afford. For what we are playing for our shoebox sized one bedroom condo (no yard) we can get a lovely three bedroom house with a yard, and even extras (garage, basement storage, an extra bathroom…). Plus I could move closer to my family and friends.
Last year we finally took the plunge and put our place on the market. For what we had it listed for we would have had enough to pay for the agent’s commission, lawyers fees, other fees AND extra to cover moving expenses and inspection on a new place. Most likely we would have to borrow money to cover the down payment on a new place.
Aside from the fact we had the real estate agent from hell representing us, we had no interest on our place. We finally had the price dropped to where we’d have enough to cover the seller’s expenses and $2,000 left over if we were lucky,
After eight months on the market we had a grand total of five people come and see our place. Since we couldn’t stand our agent either we decided to take our place off the market.
With this being a great time to buy/sell a home (people are looking to buy/sell before school starts in the fall) we thought we’d try again. Maybe we’d have better luck this time.
I’ve been getting excited about the possibility of selling our place and FINALLY owning a home. I’ve been watching shows like House Hunters and all those DIY home repair shows. I’ve even been eyeing some great garden products that were shown on QVC just recently. My husband even found an adorable house for sale in the area we want to move to which happens to be one road over from where one of my childhood friend’s live (she’s practically in the backyard!).
I have even been purging our home of stuff we don’t truly need and cleaning like a crazy person in preparation of people coming to look at our place again.
Then it all came crashing down…
We just met with the new real estate agent. Based on what condos are selling for in our complex if we were to list we would have to list at, or below, what we owe. In fact, most of the recently sold condos have sold for $20,00 LESS than what we owe. If we were to list, and sell, most likely we would OWE $$$$$$$$$ in our mortgage and we’d still have to pay the agent’s commission, lawyers fees and other fees. We also wouldn’t have a dime to cover moving expenses, inspection and down payment on a new place. Another words, if we listed and sold for what most of the condos are selling for we would probably be in the hole AT LEAST $20,000.00 (twenty thousand dollars), if not more.
The agent said we could go as a short sale. We might be forgiven of some of our mortgage if we could prove “hardship”. Even so our credit rating would take a ding. My husband has excellent credit (not sure about mine). We also wouldn’t qualify as a hardship because technically we have no debt except money we owe my father and payments for one of our cars.
I know we could borrow the money from my father, but we already owe him thousands and it would literally take us FOREVER to pay him back upwards of $30K.
So that’s it. We’re stuck here. There is nothing we can do.
Now we have to deal with our taxes that keep going up, our common charges (HOA fees) that keep having increases, our teenage son and daughter have to share a bedroom and my husband and I will having to endure all the back and shoulder pain associated with sleeping on a sofa bed. Not to mention not able to have many people over, not able to take in overnight guests, no yard for our pets to run around in and having to deal with not-so-nice neighbor’s below us, across from us, next to us and diagonal to us.
We’re trapped. There is nothing we can do. My life long dream of owning a house is shattered. It’s not like we can try again next year because our daughter will be a junior in the fall and I’d feel guilty about doing that to her (making her graduate from another school). Not only that, my husband and I are in our mid-40’s. With a 30 year mortgage we’ll be in our mid-70’s and still making mortgage payments. How would we afford that?
Do you know who is the blame for my family never having a house? MINE!
Eight years ago I messed up our finances. I was paying the bills. We were struggling financially and I had no choice but to use our credit card to do things like buy gas or pay for groceries. Soon it became impossible to keep up with the minimum payments so I opened up another credit card. Soon I was “robbing from Peter to pay Paul” (meaning I would take one credit card to pay off what was due on another one). I even had to take out some cash advances. As you know the interest rate is astronomical. Before you knew it we were $60K in debt. I was terrified to let my husband know the truth. He had no clue.
To prevent him from finding out the truth I would intercept the mail so he didn’t see the past due notices. I also used to unplug the phone when he was home so that he didn’t pick up the phone when a phone solicitor called.
I am grateful that he was understanding when he found out. I thought for sure he would divorce me or something. He was really good about it.
We had no choice but to refinance and put the amount that we owed into it. We got rid of the $60K in debt, but our mortgage went up $60K (a couple of hundred dollars more each month).
Had we not refinanced we would ow about $50K on our condo right now. Since they are selling for $110K – $125K we could have sold for $100K and walked away with a $40,000 or so profit.
It’s 100% MY FAULT that we are stuck here. Now every time I hear my daughter say that she wishes should could have friends over, our our dog wanting us to throw the ball for him, I’m going to be reminded of the fact that it’s my fault we are stuck living in a shoebox.
Even if the market improves and we could sell our place for a bit more it won’t make much of a difference. If the prices go up that means the price of houses goes up too. Right now the prices are just right where we can buy a decent house that we can afford. If prices go up we won’t be able to afford anything.
Needless to say I’m not going to have a very good Mother’s Day tomorrow. A good mother wouldn’t have ruined things for her family and make them deal with these living arrangements.
I need chocolate. I really, really, REALLY need chocolate. And a gallon if ice cream.
Sorry to ramble.