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Movie Review: Jersey Shore Massacre

 

Jersey Shore Massacre

Available today on DVD is the film Jersey Shore Massacre. It’s also currently available on Video on Demand (VOD).

The film’s executive producer is none other than Jennifer “JWOWW” Farley who was one of the cast members of the MTV series Jersey Shore.

I’ll admit that my husband and I would watch Jersey Shore. It was our “guilty pleasure”. We didn’t see it as legitimate entertainment but more so something to laugh because the cast members and the situations they got themselves into were just plain ridiculous.

I wanted to review this film because I thought it might be a spoof of the series (to some extent). Aside from wanting to hang out on the beach, drink, dance and “hook up” that was where the similarities ended. I also wanted to see if any of the cast members in this film were similar to anyone from the series. Aside from some familiar names, there was not.

Jersey Shore Massacre starts off with a group of girls fro New Jersey (complete with accents, big hair and tight clothing) getting together to spend some time down at the shore. The girls had rented a house on the beach but find out when they get down there that the landlord had already rented the house to another group of girls with a similar last name.

The girls had no where to stay and were afraid they would have to go home until one girl called her uncle who had a home near the beach. The uncle said that the girls could stay at his place because he was currently on house arrest at his other home (the uncle is a mafia member).

The girls head to the uncle’s house which happens to be located deep in the woods in the New Jersey Pine Barrens . It’s a big, beautiful house with a pool and near a lake, but far from where the action is at the shore.

Boredom quickly set in and the girl decided to take a Jersey Devil Tour. The Jersey Devil is a creature that supposedly lurks in New Jersey. All the girls go except one who stays behind to be with her boyfriend.

JSM

On the tour the girls learn that the locals are not too keen on outsiders, and if I recall correctly they were “inbreds” too (meaning they bred with each other).

The next night the girls go into town to hang out at the beach. One girl stays behind to be with her boyfriend. She is later murdered unknown to the girls.

On the beach the girls meet a group of guys who agree to meet up with them later that night at a night club. After the club the guys go home with the girls.

Back at the house the girls and the guys start to couple up, and in some cases “hook up”. One by one they are also picked off by an unknown murderer.

Who will survive? Who is murdering them? Is it the Jersey Devil? Is it one of the inbred locals? To find out you need to pick up a copy or rent Jersey Shore Massacre.

I’ll have to forewarn you that there is nudity, sex, bad language and graphic violence. I sort of expected this with film knowing how the people from the series were.

I would not consider this a horror film so much as a comedy/slasher film. There is a lot of blood, heads being whacked off and other gross things. I actually closed my eyes at one point because a girl was being attacked and her chest was being slashed opened and I honesty thought they were going to have a (fake) boob implant pop out (it didn’t).

Overall the movie was pretty silly with a splattering (no pun intended) of blood and beheadings.

Here is the trailer for your entertainment.

 

Kimberly

*I received a free screener copy in order to do this review. There was no compensation. The opinions expressed are my own and not influenced in any way.

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About Kimberly

Kimberly Vetrano resides in the suburbs of New York City with her family, five cats, dog, a tank full of fish and snails. She is also a freelance writer and photographer.

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