Quantcast

This is how you “facepalm” when you don’t have hands

 

Face Palm

I thought this was pretty funny. Our youngest cat, Bella (the one with asthma, 3 leaky valves in her heart and thyroid issues, sigh…) was fast asleep in this position. It’s not the first time she’s done that either.

I guess this is how you “facepalm” when you don’t have hands. LOL! :-)!

Kimberly

Related Posts:

How to Assemble Your Zombie First Aid Kit

Zombie

If you follow me on Facebook and/or Twitter you have probably heard me mention how much I the show The Walking Dead. I think Zombie movies and shows are fun, in a creepy sort of way. I prefer slow Zombies (the kind from the original Night of the Living Dead) compared to today’s Zombies which are way too fast for me. :-)

I thought my Zombie-loving readers might find this infographic amusing. It’s How to Assemble Your Zombie First Aid Kit. The text is a bit hard to read. If you click on the image you’ll go to the original site (I have permission to share) where you can see a larger image that is much easier to read.

Don’t forget the “rules” as per the movie Zombieland.

    • Cardio
    • The Double Tap
    • Beware of Bathrooms
    • Wear Seat Belts
    • Get a Kick Ass Partner
    • Always carry a change of underwear
    • Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)
    • When in doubt Know your way out
    • A little sun screen never hurt anybody
    • Double-Knot your Shoes
    • The Buddy System
    • Check the back seat
    • Enjoy the little things


first aid kit
Kimberly

*I was not compensated for this post. I posted this for the amusement of my site readers.

Related Posts:

  • No Related Posts

Why dogs are better than boyfriends

 8C-Wretdrc7wBD1DwTWxrgXITwfn1IRG_gkRjQ-mII8

1. They’re great listeners. Whether you’re dealing with a hard day at work, a jealous friend, or an over-bearing mother – you always have their uninterrupted attention.

QpXDQMXId8Fhz180WMwnHdI8QG5c4ouuy1teO5biGVg

2. Dogs are happy to skip the ball game or bar night and stay in & ‘help’ you cook. While boyfriends may be critical of your culinary skills, dogs will lap it up & beg for more.

W6KlysDWM7Alu_Cjo3uiNE3VEHteoZ98xkDnkLfOiOA

3. They like you just the way you are. You can get a bad haircut, wear your sweats all day, go lip gloss free or gain a few pounds. But to them, you’re perfect in every way.

z1Dgq9LovxDI_rRTCxE4On8-69AeHm4s2rCZhLUx_h4

4. You can almost always teach an old dog new tricks. Boyfriends, on the other hand, can take many years of coaching & still be unsuitable to take out in public.

sIXIgrnc8PKkc7debB83ZmSfxlXYR6WrMbSnr24xq_U

5. Your mother will love your dog (she might even call them her grandchild). There’s no approval needed when you bring home a new pup – she’ll feed & spoil them – even if they cause a “stink.”

9VPK5RIugDdTpaalKAfW_-7lp74wRhQD18Wax-FluYA

6. Dogs love your friends and they’re always down to hang with the girls. Bring along some treats and they’re happy to join in on shopping excursions (especially if they can fit in your purse).

twirV_AvN_ehB5p4wNVuhaIYIi7YledAh5gZ4y7Ywsg

7. They love to snuggle up any time of day or night. If you’re sick, they’ll cuddle with you for hours and won’t say a word about your current aesthetic state or number of Kleenexes on the bed.

mymF5txIArw4VEi8UVbsBPbMLi8yIt0WJP6LwDAPeq8

8. Dogs are happy to join in any exercise routine – and unlike a boyfriend, they won’t judge your technique, try to time your reps, or correct your form.

5C0yQkP3yljS9WbqexfAxSMVPl5W67auVwtqVIHgrBU

9. They always let you watch what you want (but you might be sharing the popcorn). Plus, they won’t ask you to explain why you love sappy chick-flicks or vampire dramas. The remote is all yours.

SFAhXd9t1qi2jM7JY2M80VynSSvoAxKi6Zw26YFbCZ4

10. You’re never too old for your dog. They’ll never prefer a younger owner and they’ll love you no matter how many miles on your clock, or wrinkles around your eyes.

*Reprinted with permission from www.HonestKitchen.com.

FB.com/TheHonestKitchen

© copyright The Honest Kitchen, Inc | design by Lili Chin | DoggieDrawings.net

Related Posts:

  • No Related Posts

The infamous “Ugly Christmas Sweater”

296886_283718671650938_1377100695_n

I have a confession to make. Up until two years ago I had a closet full of holiday sweaters, sweatshirts and tee shirts. Not only Christmas ones but also ones for Halloween. I had ones with 3D characters (Snowman, Santa), some that were sparkly and ones that even glowed in the dark. And yes… I wore them. To be honest I thought they were cute and funny. I never really saw myself as looking like a total nerd in them.

One day I was cleaning out my closet because we have too much “stuff” and no place to put it. Many of my holiday ensembles I haven’t worn in a long time, so I decided to clean them all out and donate them. All I kept was three items. I kept a Halloween shirt that says “This is my Halloween costume” on it. I also kept a holiday shirt with the Peanuts characters on it. In addition I kept one sweatshirt with the characters from Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer on it. I never wore them last year and so far this year I haven’t worn them either. I’m 40-something years old and I don’t know if I look like a total dork wearing them or not. If anything I might just wear them around the house. My family already knows I’m a nerd. LOL!

The infamous “Ugly Christmas Sweater” is all the rage now. People are actually having Ugly Christmas Sweater parties. In fact, if you Google Ugly Christmas Sweater Party you’ll find a lot of websites dedicated to the idea. WOW! Whew knew that all the the sweaters and shirts I donated would suddenly be “in”.

You can even buy party invitations for an Ugly Christmas Sweater AND books about Ugly Christmas Sweaters. It’s crazy!

ugly_sweater_christmas_party_invitations-r726a50df47d94fe98ddcda5aa72c46e3_8dnm8_8byvr_512

rock your ugly christmas

ugly-christmas-sweater-party-book

I was approached by the site The Sweater Store, to review a couple of sweaters from their site. They have the largest selection of Ugly Christmas Sweaters.

I love how their site is set up. You can shop specifically by size, gender, color, sweater type (cardigan, pullover, turtleneck, sweatshirt) and my personal favorite way to shop by – flair! By flair they mean what kind of decorations do you want on your Ugly Christmas Sweater? Do you want snowmen, plaid, wreath, angels, dogs or any other subject matter? They have dozens to choose from.

They have tops from about $20-$40 with $25-$30 being the average price.

I was originally going to get a sweater for myself, but since I don’t like to be in photos, I didn’t think that was a good idea. Instead I picked up sweaters (well, one sweater and one sweatshirt) for my teenagers – except I didn’t tell them about it. I wanted to pull a bit of a joke on them.

When my kids were little we used to take them to Sears to get their holiday photo taken. The older they got them more they resisted so eventually we gave up and just took their picture at home in front of our tree.

This year we didn’t purchase our daughter’s school picture. She’s in high school and the photo packages are a small fortune. The grandparents are not getting any current photos of the kids this year.

385438_283718791650926_982601401_n

I told the kids that we were taking them to Sears to get their holiday photo taken again because their grandparents REALLY wanted current photos of them. The kids moaned and groaned a little bit but said they would do it (as if they had a choice – LOL).

I also told them that I bought their holiday outfits. They were NOT pleased to hear that. In the past I had made sure they were dressed really nice. The older they got the more I let them pick out their own outfits. The last thing a teenager wants to hear is that their mom picked out an outfit for them. :-)

I told them I was super excited about what I picked out. They did not share my enthusiasm.

When we were all at the dinner table finishing up dinner I told the kids I wanted to show them what they were wearing. I went to the bedroom closet to get the holiday sweater and sweatshirt and then returned to the dining room and held them up for the kids to see them. Oh my goodness… the look on their faces was PRICELESS!

My son just sat there staring at me with his mouth wide open. My daughter looked at her sweater for a minute or two and said “I only need to wear it for the photo, right?”. I told her the photo and then when we went out to dinner (at a fancy restaurant) on Christmas Eve. With that my son got up a walked away and left out condo unit (he was trying to be funny and overly dramatic). My daughter just sat there and played “Let’s Make a Deal” with me (“If I don’t have to wear it to the restaurant I promise to clean out the litter box every day during our vacation” – I should have taken her up on that ;-)).

I made the kids put on the tops (my daughter had a sweater and my son had a sweatshirt) and stand in front of our Christmas tree.

Kids

My son was making goofy faces and my daughter was less than amused as you can tell. My crazy husband managed to “photo bomb” the photo too. LOL.

After several attempt I was finally able to get the kids to take a decent picture in their “Ugly Christmas Sweaters”.

Kids in Ugly Sweaters 2012

I hated to tell them that it was all a joke, but I figured I had “tortured” them enough. They were relieved that they didn’t have to wear them out. My son especially because his sweatshirt had sparkly rhinestones in the center of the snowflakes and he felt it was way too girly for him. My daughter said the sweater was comfy and cute. She said she WOULD wear it, but not “out and about” locally. She said she’d wear it if we went upstate where no one knew her. She actually kept the sweater on for a while because it was comfy.

I am going to make our Ugly Christmas Sweaters from The Sweater Shop a new family tradition. I am going to pack the sweater and sweatshirt away and have them wear them next year and so forth. Our daughter has stopped growing so it should fit her. Our son might get taller, but it’s a man’s large size so it should fit for a few more years. Then I’ll pass them on to another family member.

Who knows, maybe they will be invited to an Ugly Christmas Sweater party.

If you are looking for the perfect holiday sweater, shirt or sweatshirt, or perhaps something to wear to an Ugly Christmas Sweater party, look no further than The Sweater Store, www.TheSweaterStore.com. You can also check them out on Facebook, Twitter and even Pinterest and Tumblr. I give the guy in the shiny green pants on their Tumblr site all the credit in the world. I also love some of their Pinterest boards.

Ugly Christmas Sweaters

Kimberly

*I received a free product sample in order to do this review. There was no compensation. The opinions expressed are my own and are not influenced in any way.

Related Posts:

  • No Related Posts

How to Give a Cat a Pill

1408632_cat_photography_4

This information was sent to my father from my cousin’s in the United Kingdom. I do not know who wrote this, but it’s genius! If you happen to know the author please shoot me an e-mail so I can give proper credit. I would also love to thank this person for making me laugh hysterically this morning. :-)

We have five cats, a dog and fish. Our youngest cat, Bella, has health issues (hyperthyroidism, asthma and allergies) and needs to take two pills twice a day. It is NOT easy at all. I have to think of creative ways to get her to take them. I try and wrap them in things (cheese, treats, liverwurst…) but she usually catches on to my act of deception and then won’t eat that product anymore.

I do have a pill “shooter” but getting her to sit still and open her mouth for me to use it is next to impossible.

If you have a cat and have ever had to get it to swallow a pill you’ll appreciate this humorous look at “How to Give a Cat a Pill”.

1392851_cat

How to Give a Cat a Pill – author unknown

1.  Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.     

Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand.  As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2.  Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.

Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3.  Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4.  Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. 

Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

1406870_kitty

5.  Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.

Call spouse in from the garden.

6.  Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. 

Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

7.  Retrieve cat from curtain rail.

Get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8.  Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. 

Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw

1393085_cat_sticking_out_tonge

9.  Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans and drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. 

10.  Retrieve cat from neighbour’s shed.

Get another pill.  Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11.  Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. 

Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

1384459_cat_in_tree_3
12.  Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from the top of the tree across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.

Take last pill from foil wrap.

13.  Using heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little *&#%^’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table.  Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak.  Be rough about it.  Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14.  Consume remainder of scotch.  Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room.  Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye.  Call furniture shop on way home to order new table. 

15.  Arrange for ASPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

924955_ziggy_the_hamster

If you happen to have a dog too, here is how you give a dog a pill.

How To Give A Dog A Pill

1.  Wrap it in bacon.

2.  Toss it in the air.

943033_pure_joy

LOL! :-)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kimberly

*I was not compensated for this post (obviously). I posted this for the enjoyment of my site reader. I am not the original author but I would very much love to give the appropriate credit. If you know the author (or if you are the author) please contact me so I can give you credit. Thanks!

Related Posts:

  • No Related Posts

Actress Cheryl Hines Chats about Halloween #Suburgatory Episode, The Witches of East Chatwin

Last year I was asked to do a review for a pilot episode of a new series called Suburgatory. I had seen the commercials for the show but I wasn’t sure what it was really about.

I was sent the pilot episode to review. From the moment the episode was over I knew that ABC had a hit on their hands. If you would like to read my review you can find it here.

If you are unfamiliar with the show here is a brief synopsis;

Single father George Altman is doing his best to raise his sixteen-year-old daughter Tessa in New York City. When he discovers a box of condoms in her bedroom he decides the time has come to move her to a more wholesome and nurturing environment: the suburbs. But behind the beautiful homes and perfect lawns lurk the Franken-moms, spray tans, nose jobs, and Red Bull-guzzling teens who have nothing in common with Tessa. It’s a whole new world, one that makes George wonder if they haven’t jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. With the help of suburbanites like old college friend Noah, flirty Alpha mom Dallas and awkward classmate Lisa, George and Tessa slowly learn to navigate the pitfalls of suburban life. With time, they might even find that it isn’t so bad.

They show is really funny. The characters seem a bit over exaggerated, but there really are people in this world a lot like them (although maybe not as over the top). I live in the suburbs of New York City. Some of my neighbors act like they were plucked right out of the series and planted next door to me. I have some really ”odd” neighbors. :-)

Tonight there is a special Halloween episode of Suburgatory called The Witches of East Chatwin.

When Tessa convinces Dalia and the KKK (Kimantha, Kaitlyn and Kenzie) to come up with feminist inspired Halloween costumes, she finds herself the interest of the infamous East Chatswin witch (aka Paula), played by guest star Rachel Dratch. As it turns out Paula isn’t exactly what she seems. Meanwhile George and Noah dress up as each other, and Dallas invites George to be “Ken” to her “Barbie”—but he declines, not realizing that she is asking him out.

I had the opportunity to see the episode before it airs tonight. I don’t want to spoil it for you, let’s just say that I loved Rachel Dratch as Paula. I think she needs to say on as a regular character. She really knows how to drive the people of East Chatwin crazy. :-)

I LOVE their Halloween costumes. You won’t believe what lengths George goes to for his costume.

The people have made Paul an “urban legend” in East Chatwin. The grown ups have passed on tales about Paula to their own children. Just like any urban legend, no one really knows if it’s true or not.

There is an urban legend in the county where I live. There is a road called Spook Rock Road. One end of the road, where the stop sign is, is a decline, meaning your car is facing downward. If you put your car in neutral you’ll find that is starts to roll backwards up the hill. I know it sounds crazy but it’s true! My husband and I have tried it a few times and each time it’s worked. We’re not sure if it’s an optical illusion (maybe you are really facing up a hill and not down a hill), or some other kind of “mind game”.

The legend I heard is that Indian lovers were separated and the female was killed (unbeknown to the male). Supposedly he pulls cars back to look inside of them to see if his lost love is inside. True or not I know it freaks my kids out.

Myself and some other bloggers had the opportunity to chat with actress Cheryl Hines who plays the role of Dallas on Suburgatory. I’ll post the entire interview in another post, but for now here are some highlights from the interview.

Question: I know a lot of actors sometimes base characters that they play off someone they know or someone in their life… when you think of Dallas do you think of someone you know? (Kimberly Ortiz, Pretty Pink Mama).

Cheryl: Well my mom grew up in Jacksonville, Florida and she’s very southern. And she pretty much talks like Dallas. So she definitely inspires me. And my mom also likes to have fun and she likes to wear things that are sparkly and glittery and animal print. And my mom cannot imagine why anybody would wear a black dress for any reason. So you know, I have been around that all my life and my mom saying things like “if you got it flaunt it“. And so she’s just always had this attitude of, you know, “shake what your mama gave you“.It’s like  I’m going on a date and I don’t want to shake it. But that’s, you know, my mom. And she’s entertaining. And she’s fun to be around so I do I like to think of her when I’m playing Dallas.

Question: (Is) there any chance that you’ll be showing off your singing skills on Suburgatory? - (Referring to Sudsy Bubbles Seed on Jack’s Big Music Show - Rosa Codero, Accidental Sexiness)

Cheryl: Oh my gosh. I really hope not. Just to call them singing skills as really a stretch. I honestly don’t know how they got me to sing on that show now that I think about it. No,. but I will be doing some dancing. There’s an episode when George and well Tessa and Dalia have a hip-hop dance off and then George – which leads to a Dallas and George dance off. So I’ll be doing enough ridiculous things that hopefully I won’t never have to sing on the show.

Question: What was your favorite Halloween costume that you’ve ever worn? (Kimberly Vetrano, She Scribes).

Cheryl: Favorite Halloween costume? Well one year I went with – he’s my ex-husband now but at the time he was my husband and my best friend - we went as a mariachi band. And it was really funny because when we would get separated from each other it was just a weird costume with a drawn on pencil mustache.

And at the time I was working for HBO and went to this party and most people were not dressed up. And at one point in the party I found myself talking to the President of HBO, you know, with a big hat tassels on it and a black tiny mustache and just trying to have a normal conversation. But anyway it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun.

And then one year I dressed up with my brothers and my sister and some friends as Gilligan’s Island. So that was a lot of fun too.

Question: I’m wondering will we see any kind of friction with like Tessa and Dallas because she has kind of taken on more of that mother role for Tessa? (Kimberly Ortiz, Pretty Pink Mama).

Cheryl: Well it’s interesting, it’s surprising. The conflict that it causes it’s not what you think would probably happen. You know, you might think Dallas would be jealous of Tessa’s mom. But what happens is Tessa’s mom when we meet her we find out that she is a very flawed person. Of course she would have to be anyone that deserts their child, I mean they must have things going on that are major, you know, that people usually don’t do that. But it does happen.

George has been around her and he knows her and takes and he knows what she does and he doesn’t fall for her drama. And everyone else in Chatswin feels sorry for her because she seems nice and she seems, you know, like she’s having a tough day so Dallas is – gets a little bit mad at George for not for him not being nicer to Tessa’s mom. And George says this is what she does. This is what she does every day. It’s not just today. This is, you know, so it’s interesting. And I think it’s, you know, it’s interesting to watch because usually that’s such a, you know, those are heavy moments in real life when people are doing that.

On Suburgatory we have a chance to laugh at it which is unusual and great because so there’s that. And then even with Dallas and Tessa really there is more conflict starts happening between Tessa and George because the four of us are spending so  much time together, Dalia and Dallas and Tessa and George. I mean you start to see the complete opposite parenting moments where they - the girls come out of the SATs and Tessa gets an ice cream cone and Dalia gets a new car. So it really sort of – it creates problems between Tessa and George where Tessa says and that’s not fair.

And, you know, George is like it’s you’ve always had ice cream. Yes but look what she gets? So there’s more conflict I think between Tessa and George really than anybody else at this point.

Question: (Cheryl has lived in both Florida and in California) Which coast you think has people more similar to the folks from Chatswin? (Mitch Ketton, Gay NYC Dad).

Cheryl: Living here in LA and being a mom I definitely see these people. I say and I’m sure it’s true in any suburban neighborhood and that’s why this show is funny and why people laugh at it. But, you know, I see the women that get their hair blown out before a PTA meeting and put on their best Versace dress to go to a school function. Oh I see it.

Question: How do you keep from laughing all day with this amazing cast and this group of hysterical people (including) my neighbor Rachel Dratch, who lives down the block? (Mitch Ketton, Gay NYC Dad).

Cheryl: It’s a problem. Rachel Dratch, oh my gosh. Yes I just love her. And I like that she’s an outcast because she hasn’t had anything done, oh my gosh. No I laugh all the time. And sometimes, you know, the poor crew. After, you know, five takes and you still can’t get it because you’re laughing at some ridiculous word it’s not funny but you still can’t – we still can’t get it together because we’re, you know, were dressed in ridiculous outfits and we’re saying crazy things.

Last season had a scene with Carly Chaikin who plays my daughter Dalia. And, you know, we had this scene, a very intimate scene and she’s upset. And I say “I may not be a hangover monkey… (because she wanted a monkey from the hangover movie) but I will always love you.”

And so I had to look in her eyes and say that and it just for whatever reason we could not get through it, we could not because it’s so ridiculous. And so sometimes you may catch us looking off into the distance.

There was a bit more to the interview, but for the sake of space I figured it was best to share the highlights.

I appreciate that Cheryl took the time out to chat with us. Thank you Cherly!

If you are the fan of the show, or interested in learning more about the series, I thought you might like to know about a special Twitter party. Tonight there is a Twitter Viewing Party for the Halloween episode of Suburgatory, The Witches of East Chatwin. You can RSVP to th party here, http://www.o2oblog.com/2012/10/the-middle-and-suburgatory-live-viewing-party. You’ll also have the opportunity to chat about the Halloween episode of The Middle (I that show!). They will be giving away PRIZES too!

Do YOU like Suburgatory? Do you have a favorite episode or character? I would love to hear from my readers. Please feel free to leave a comment and share your thoughts.

Kimberly

*I participated in this sponsored post campaign for One2One Network. All opinions stated are my own.

Related Posts: