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Teach Your Kids How to Save Money

 

Piggy Bank

There are so many times in life when we think “I wish I had known that” or “I wish I had learned that as a kid”. Kids these days are bombarded with knowledge that we never even dreamed of at their age.  Many of us often wish we had the education that our kids are getting.

While they are learning all about the world and the global nature of life in the 21st century, there are still many things that school will most likely not teach.  Schools no longer offer Home Economics classes or teach many of the life skills necessary to run a household, global or not.

With the tough economy and many families struggling to make it through, it’s more important than ever to not only get a handle on your family’s finances, but to teach your children how this is done and the benefits it creates.  Good financial sense, from the basics of balancing a checking account, to creating an age-appropriate financial plan will save lots of struggle for your kids down the road.

There are many ways to start teaching your kids how to save money. You can start early or start when they get their first job. Most importantly, just start!

Make a Savings Chart – Every parent has seen these at their child’s school.  A big poster board of a financial goal such as a new play structure or school equipment. Every family contributes what they can and the pie chart or bar graph gets colored in until the goal is reached.

A chart is a visible reminder of the goal and it helps to build the anticipation and excitement around reaching it.  Small children will really connect with saving in this visual way.  It’s a great way for a family to save money towards a fun trip or vacation.

Match Their Contribution – Just like your employer matches your 401-K (if you’re lucky) encourage your kids to save the maximum by getting “free’ money from you.  This will help their savings to grow faster and really create a sense of accomplishment in them.  Be sure you stick to it if you say you are going to match.

You could add your contribution as they go or you can wait until a specified time. Have them count up what they have saved and then add your matching contribution to it.

Set Priorities and Goals – Kids are born with an “I want everything” attitude and it is one of the responsibilities of parents to rein this in and help them to set priorities and goals for their money.  Maybe they want a new shirt, a short term goal but know they will need a new laptop for college next fall, a long-term goal.

Help them to prioritize based on which is more important or the costs versus benefits of giving up one of the options.

Monopoly

Play Monopoly – Yes, the game of Monopoly, or Life.  These games can teach younger children a little bit at least about the value of money and what it’s like to lose it all!  While it is for fun and games there will be some learning going on for your child. More importantly, there are many opportunities to open up conversation about financial topics and about the reality of money versus the game.  Kids may not be amenable to having a sit-down about finances and a light-hearted game can be a great way to make your points without too much rolling of the eyes.

Share Your Experience – Tough economic times are a learning experience for us all.  Within reason, you should open up to your kids and share some of the struggles you may be facing as well as how are you approaching them.  Healthy talk about money includes very realistic and frank facts about when there is enough money for something and when there is not. Finding alternatives and solutions when there is not is one of the tools you should equip your children with for a successful life.

Differentiate Between Needs and Wants – Kids have a hard time realizing that they can’t have everything they want.  It can make teenagers especially feel inadequate, left out, different or just plain bad.  However, if they are given healthy attitudes about needs versus wants they will better be able to shrug off some of life’s financial disappointments.  In fact, they may even take to differentiating themselves from the crowd by doing something different, which is less costly than what everyone else is doing.

Create a Simple Budget – This is a great skill to teach your child who has their own job and income.  What are they going to do with their new-found wealth?  To set them up for successful life skills, start at the beginning with a very simple budget.  Include an amount for savings as well as an amount for some item they will now be purchasing on their own, perhaps gasoline for the car.  The rest they can use as they wish, towards a goal or just for fun.  After all, they are still kids.

Most of All: Set a Good Example

Monkey see. Monkey Do.  We are our children’s best teachers. No matter what they see and hear elsewhere, their frame of reference is their home and family.   Be open with your kids about your savings habits and goals and how you run your household budget.  Show them the books!  Of course, it is also important to teach them discretion in keeping personal financial information to themselves.

Teaching your child the essential skills of saving, budgeting and spending will serve them well throughout their lives.

About the Author:  Wendy Brunner is a freelance writer focusing on articles and blog posts on a variety of topics including travel, internet marketing and personal finance.  When not beachside in Plum Island, Mass. she can be found in the Sonoran desert of Fountain Hills, Ariz. You can follow her on Google+.

Money

FP

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When all your dreams come crashing down

 

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I am beyond devastated right now. I dare not let my husband or children know how I feel. I’m afraid if I start to talk about it I’m going to start balling my eyes out. I hate crying in front of my kids. :-(

Ever since I was a little girl I have always dreamed of having a house. I have always envisioned what my dream house would look like.

When my husband and I eloped we didn’t even have a placed to live. For five months after we married my husband lived with his mom and I lived with my parents. We were an hour’s drive away from one another. We were young and didn’t give it much thought when we jumped into getting married. Having a place to live afterwards should have been our top priority.

We didn’t have much money and we were desperate to find a place. When my husband found our condo, at a price we could afford, we jumped on the opportunity without much thought of the future. By the time we found this place I was already pregnant. Even thought it’s a one bedroom condo we knew we could turn the dining room into a bedroom for our daughter.

We never gave much thought to having another child. A little over two years later our son was born. Having the kids share the converted dining room worked out great for an infant and a toddler. After a couple of years we realized the kids outgrew the small room. We eventually ended up giving the kids the master bedroom (only bedroom) and my husband and I moved into the living room. We started off with a sofa bed, then moved on to air mattresses, a daybed/trundle combo and now we’re back to a sofa bed.

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We have always wanted to move but the market has never played in our favor. FINALLY the cost of houses has dropped and we are finding houses that we can afford. For what we are playing for our shoebox sized one bedroom condo (no yard) we can get a lovely three bedroom house with a yard, and even extras (garage, basement storage, an extra bathroom…). Plus I could move closer to my family and friends.

Last year we finally took the plunge and put our place on the market. For what we had it listed for we would have had enough to pay for the agent’s commission, lawyers fees, other fees AND extra to cover moving expenses and inspection on a new place. Most likely we would have to borrow money to cover the down payment on a new place.

Aside from the fact we had the real estate agent from hell representing us, we had no interest on our place. We finally had the price dropped to where we’d have enough to cover the seller’s expenses and $2,000 left over if we were lucky,

After eight months on the market we had a grand total of five people come and see our place. Since we couldn’t stand our agent either we decided to take our place off the market.

With this being a great time to buy/sell a home (people are looking to buy/sell before school starts in the fall) we thought we’d try again. Maybe we’d have better luck this time.

I’ve been getting excited about the possibility of selling our place and FINALLY owning a home. I’ve been watching shows like House Hunters and all those DIY home repair shows. I’ve even been eyeing some great garden products that were shown on QVC just recently. My husband even found an adorable house for sale in the area we want to move to which happens to be one road over from where one of my childhood friend’s live (she’s practically in the backyard!).

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I have even been purging our home of stuff we don’t truly need and cleaning like a crazy person in preparation of people coming to look at our place again.

Then it all came crashing down…

We just met with the new real estate agent. Based on what condos are selling for in our complex if we were to list we would have to list at, or below, what we owe. In fact, most of the recently sold condos have sold for $20,00 LESS than what we owe. If we were to list, and sell, most likely we would OWE $$$$$$$$$ in our mortgage and we’d still have to pay the agent’s commission, lawyers fees and other fees. We also wouldn’t have a dime to cover moving expenses, inspection and down payment on a new place. Another words, if we listed and sold for what most of the condos are selling for we would probably be in the hole AT LEAST $20,000.00 (twenty thousand dollars), if not more.

The agent said we could go as a short sale. We might be forgiven of some of our mortgage if we could prove “hardship”. Even so our credit rating would take a ding. My husband has excellent credit (not sure about mine). We also wouldn’t qualify as a hardship because technically we have no debt except money we owe my father and payments for one of our cars.

I know we could borrow the money from my father, but we already owe him thousands and it would literally take us FOREVER to pay him back upwards of $30K.

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So that’s it. We’re stuck here. There is nothing we can do.

Now we have to deal with our taxes that keep going up, our common charges (HOA fees) that keep having increases, our teenage son and daughter have to share a bedroom and my husband and I will having to endure all the back and shoulder pain associated with sleeping on a sofa bed. Not to mention not able to have many people over, not able to take in overnight guests, no yard for our pets to run around in and having to deal with not-so-nice neighbor’s below us, across from us, next to us and diagonal to us.

We’re trapped. There is nothing we can do. My life long dream of owning a house is shattered. It’s not like we can try again next year because our daughter will be a junior in the fall and I’d feel guilty about doing that to her (making her graduate from another school). Not only that, my husband and I are in our mid-40′s. With a 30 year mortgage we’ll be in our mid-70′s and still making mortgage payments. How would we afford that?

Do you know who is the blame for my family never having a house? MINE!

Eight years ago I messed up our finances. I was paying the bills. We were struggling financially and I had no choice but to use our credit card to do things like buy gas or pay for groceries. Soon it became impossible to keep up with the minimum payments so I opened up another credit card. Soon I was “robbing from Peter to pay Paul” (meaning I would take one credit card to pay off what was due on another one). I even had to take out some cash advances. As you know the interest rate is astronomical. Before you knew it we were $60K in debt. I was terrified to let my husband know the truth. He had no clue.

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To prevent him from finding out the truth I would intercept the mail so he didn’t see the past due notices. I also used to unplug the phone when he was home so that he didn’t pick up the phone when a phone solicitor called.

I am grateful that he was understanding when he found out. I thought for sure he would divorce me or something. He was really good about it.

We had no choice but to refinance and put the amount that we owed into it. We got rid of the $60K in debt, but our mortgage went up $60K (a couple of hundred dollars more each month).

Had we not refinanced we would ow about $50K on our condo right now. Since they are selling for $110K – $125K we could have sold for $100K and walked away with a $40,000 or so profit.

It’s 100% MY FAULT that we are stuck here. Now every time I hear my daughter say that she wishes should could have friends over, our our dog wanting us to throw the ball for him, I’m going to be reminded of the fact that it’s my fault we are stuck living in a shoebox.

Even if the market improves and we could sell our place for a bit more it won’t make much of a difference. If the prices go up that means the price of houses goes up too. Right now the prices are just right where we can buy a decent house that we can afford. If prices go up we won’t be able to afford anything.

Needless to say I’m not going to have a very good Mother’s Day tomorrow. A good mother wouldn’t have ruined things for her family and make them deal with these living arrangements. :-(

I need chocolate. I really, really, REALLY need chocolate. And a gallon if ice cream.

Sorry to ramble.

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Kimberly

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Help your child prepare for their “Big Day”

 

First Baseball Game

When you’re a child every day has the potential of being a “Big Day”. That holds true for older children too (teens). In fact, every day has the potential to be a “Big Day” when you are an adult as well.

Some “Big Days” are totally unexpected, like the first time your child learns to ride a two wheeler without training wheels, or the first time they lose a tooth. Other “Big Days” are highly anticipated, like your child’s first dance, or for a teen, their first date.

My children are teenagers now. In fact my daughter is just about to turn “Sweet 16″. She is looking forward to many upcoming “Big Days” including getting her driver’s permit (not exactly something my husband and I are looking forward to – ha ha) and getting her first job. Another “Big Day” that we know is fast approaching is her first date with a boy. Although the longer we can push that one off the happier we’ll be.

To prepare yourself for those “Big Days” it’s important to start your day off right. Aside from getting a good night’s sleep it’s also important to start your day off with a wholesome, nutritious and filling breakfast.

Fruit

Just this morning my daughter and I were talking about the importance of breakfast while we were waiting for her bus to arrive. She was curious to know why people say it’s important to have a good breakfast so that you can stay focused during the day. My daughter said that no matter what she eats she doesn’t have a problem staying focused and staying on task. I reminded her that almost every morning she has a good, nutritious breakfast. That is why she never seems to have a problem concentrating or getting her work done. I told her that when you are hungry your mind tends to wander on thoughts of food and when you’ll have a chance to eat next, not what happened during the War of 1812. Plus if your stomach is growling you might get embarrassed and be too worried about people hearing your tummy grumbling and not pay attention to what is going on in the classroom.

A healthy and nutritious breakfast can also help keep your child focused so that they do well on an important test (such as a mid-term or final) or an important presentation.

When my children were little I always made sure they ate a healthy breakfast every morning. Now that they are older and make their own breakfasts I make sure that there are plenty of healthy options available to them including plenty of fresh fruits, oatmeal, eggs (or another form of a protein) and high fiber cereals such as Frosted Mini Wheats. In fact, Frosted Mini Wheats are a favorite of my children. My daughter even loves to have them at snacks. She’s even taken some in a baggie to school with her (along with her lunch) to help keep her full throughout the day. Their favorite flavors are Strawberry (I almost always have Strawberry Frosted Mini Wheats in our pantry) and Blueberry. I love both flavors as well as Maple Brown Sugar and Original.

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If you would like to learn more about the different varieties of fiber packed Kellogg’s Frosted Mini Wheats visit www.FrostedMiniWheats.com.

Did you know that one bowl of Kellogg’s Frosted Mini Wheats provides your child with a whole day’s worth of whole grains as well as feeds their bodies with 22% of their daily value of dietary fiber. As you know, fiber helps to keep you feeling full and satisfied.

Scholastic even have a special website set up just to help you and your child celebrate the special “Big Days” in your life including first sleep over, first pet, first big game and more wonderful first “Big Days”. You can find great articles, videos, tips and more at www.Scholastic.com/PCBigDay. The site will be updated frequently with new content and information so you should bookmark it and check back often.

Oh how I miss the “firsts” talked about on the PC Big Day website. I still remember my daughter’s first sleep over and my son’s first lose tooth. Some how you never forever those special “Big Days”, no matter how much your child grows. :-)

How do YOU help your child prepare for their “Big Day”? I would love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to comment and let me know. I always love to hear from my readers.

Kellogg's Frosted Mini Wheats

Kimberly

*I was provided the information by Kellogg’s Mini Wheats. This is a compensated post however the opinions expressed are my own and were not influenced in any way.

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And so it begins…

 

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I think we’ve been pretty lucky up until now. Our almost 16 year old daughter and 13 1/2 year old son are “homebodies” and don’t go out much. They don’t get into trouble except for typical teenager stuff like being lazy and disrespectful. What I mean by trouble is that they don’t break curfew and things along those lines.

We haven’t had to worry about our son because he doesn’t really have any friends. He never hangs out with anyone. He has plenty of acquaintances but no one he can truly call a best friend. We even offer to drive him and a friend to the mall, or take them to the ballpark, but he declines.

Our daughter has a new best friend weekly (or so it would seem). You know how teenage girls are. They can be very “flighty” and fickle. One day they are best friends with a girl and the next day they are enemies only to be best friends again a day or two later.

Even though I was a teenager at one point I can’t keep up with who likes who, who wore what, who is “besties” with who and what girl is sworn enemies with what other girl.

Teenage Girls = DRAMA!

A few times senior boys have shown interest in our daughter, but she always does something to push them away before anything can even develop. Not that me and my husband mind (she’s not yet 16 – she will be in 3 weeks). She’s still young.

She did have a “boyfriend” (I use the term loosely) two summers ago. They went to school with each other but never spoke with one another. One night on a sleepover at a friend’s house the girl Oovoo’ed (video chatted) with the boy because they were friends. My daughter started talking to the boy too and soon they became friends. The boy then asked her out and they started “dating” online (as only 14 year olds can do). They never met face to face but as far as they were concerned, and all their friends, they were a couple.

The boy kept pushing for my daughter to hangout with him so they made arrangements to meet for lunch at a local McDonald’s (how romantic! LOL). I dropped my daughter off and went food shopping at a grocery store near by. She knew the rules (don’t leave the restaurant, no kissing…). Shortly after I dropped her off she was texting me about how she didn’t want to be there, and she DOESN’T like him after all, and how does she let him down without hurting his feelings. The boy even gave her a necklace when he met her at McDonald’s which made it harder for my daughter.

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She eventually was honest with him before leaving McDonald’s and they “broke up” there and then. He was mad at her for a while, even calling her nasty names (not in person but to their friends). Soon it all died down and now the two of them barely acknowledge each other at school.

Last summer our daughter had an on going thing (via text) with a really sweet boy. We never met him but I did read some of the texts and he seemed like a nice boy. He wanted to hang out with our daughter but she kept coming up with excuses. Finally they stopped talking to one another and he asked someone else out. They have been dating ever since.

When school started this year another boy, a senior (our daughter is a sophomore) wanted to drive her home from school the very first day. NO WAY! She knows the rules – NO GETTING IN CARS WITH BOYS, or teenage girls too for that matter. Not all teens are great drivers.

Things have been pretty quiet and we haven’t heard about any boy stuff for months. Then a few weeks ago, out of the blue, our daughter asked if she could meet her best-friend-of-the-moment at the local ballpark (minor league stadium) to watch a varsity baseball game. That was VERY suspicious. Our daughter is not into sports and knows nothing about baseball. We had a feeling boys were involved. She did mention one boy that was going with her friend, but they are just friends.

I dropped our daughter off at the ballpark and waved hello to her two friends and waited until they were inside the stadium. As per our daughter her best friend’s dad was also there and would drive them home.

Fast forward a few days later. I had to take our daughter to the doctor to make sure she didn’t have Bronchitis. While we were in the examining room waiting for the doctor to show up the truth came out.

The male friend that was there with them (the one I saw) left right away. Her friend wanted to go to see a boy she likes on the baseball team. ANOTHER boy, one who her friend supposedly used to like, was also there. Apparently this boy has eyes for my daughter. Judging by some pictures I saw on Facebook (yeah, I stalk my kids – I need to know what is going on), her “best friend” was getting a bit cozy with the boy that supposedly likes my daughter and that her friend “used to” like. Her friend never went to see any of the players on the team. It all seems pretty suspicious.

Bank One Skybox

Meeting a boy there was not the bad part – the bad part is that she lied about he friend’s father being there (he wasn’t) and it was the boy (the one who likes my daughter supposedly) who drove them home.

She broke one of our MAJOR RULES – No getting in cars with boys!

I think I must have turned purple at that point because my blood pressure hit the roof. I lectured her until I was blue in the face. She apologized profusely and said she felt awkward that he wanted to drive them home and her “best friend” said “yes”. She felt like she was put in a bad situation and felt she had no choice but to say “yes”. Supposedly the boy wanted her to sit in the front seat (another HUGE no-no!) but her so-called best friend hopped in the front with the boy she said she no longer liked and my daughter sat in the back. She had him drop her off up the hill from where we live and walked home so we didn’t see her get out of his car.

I never told my husband any of this. He knows she met a boy at the ballpark, but he knows nothing about getting in the car with him. I HATE keeping it a secret from him but I know how he will react and he will go ballistic and totally lose it. Heart disease runs in his family and even though his ticker is OK I worry that too much stress will give him a heart attack. So I’m trying to minimize the stress by not telling him.

I haven’t heard anything about that boy since, until now. Yesterday my daughter asked if she could hang out with her friend again. She said they were going to the ballpark. I looked at her and said “boys?” and she just smiled. So yes… they are going to meet boys. Something that I am NOT comfortable about, but I know it’s inevitable. She knows all too well that if she gets into a car with a teenager again, especially without me knowing, she will be grounded for the remainder of this year, if not longer.

As if that wasn’t enough our son, who never wants to leave our home and has no friends, was asked to go to a carnival being held at a nearby town. From what we can tell it’s a group of kids, mostly girls but with a few boys too. We’re not sure if our son wants to go because he was asked to go and desperately wants to have friends (real friends), or he likes one of the girls.

We’re assuming they want to meet during the day, however the carnival is being held in a not-so-nice town, one with a high crime rate. I’m sure there will be Police around, but we can’t help but worry about our 13 year old walking around like that. He even wants to bring his video camera so they (him and those kids) an make silly videos while they are there. I am NOT happy with that idea at all. He’s way too trusting and I can see one of the kids walking away with his camera, or having to stolen. Case in point, on a school field trip to NYC a “friend” said he was hungry and knowing my son had money on him, asked to “borrow” money to buy a hot dog. My son gave him a $20 bill and never saw the change, nor did the boy pay him back. We’ve been trying to get the name of the boy but our son refuses to give us his name.

We’re torn about letting him go. We’re excited that he actually wants to go hang out with children his age, and not hide away at home like he always does. For my husband and I this is a bit deal. A very big deal. We’ve dreamed of this day for a very long time. At the same time it’s at a carnival in a bad part of town. The only thing I can think of is taking him and then staying but following the kids around at a distance to keep an eye on him. I just don’t want him to find out.

So now I have to stress out about our daughter meeting boys (senior boys no less!) at the ballpark and our son wanting to hang out with kids at a carnival in a not-so-nice part of town.

I already lose sleep and stress out over my kids (grades, getting into college…) now I have to add boys and friends into the mix. Egads! There goes my hair. I can feel the gray hairs bursting out of my scalp as I write this.

My kids are good kids, and they know right from wrong, but they are also very gullible and give easily under peer pressure. I don’t want to prevent them from living life and enjoying their youth, but at the same time I’m a mom and I worry about their safety and well being.

I know many of my readers are parents and grandparents. If you have any words of advice I would certainly love to hear them. I’m sure many people have had to face similar situations. Feel free to comment and share your thoughts.

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Kimberly

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Parenting “Test” – Major Fail

 

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I love my kids with every fiber of my being. They are not perfect and they certainly drive my husband and I bonkers sometimes, but over all they are good kids. They are also very lazy. I don’t know if it’s a teenager thing or if it’s just them.

I’m constantly on my kids for simple things like making their beds before they leave for school, keeping their room clean and taking the dog out when he has to go. I cannot tell you how many cups I wash on a daily basis. Is it that hard to wash a glass after you are done having a glass of water? If I had a nickel for every glass I’ve had to wash we would be living in a mansion right now – including driving fancy cars and taking exotic vacations. OK, maybe I am exaggerating a little, but I do wash A LOT of dishes that I shouldn’t have to.

Whenever we ask our kids to do something we always get back a sigh, comments like “Do I have to?” and watching them take their sweet time to do something that would take the rest of us mere seconds to do. And things like not replacing the toilet paper when the roll is done or the soap in the shower when it’s so tiny a hamster would have a hard time washing with it are totally inexcusable.

Sigh…

Yesterday my husband did a little test to see what our kids would do. He took out the kitchen garbage when he went to walk the dog. He purposely didn’t replace the garbage bag. He was curious to see what the kids would do. Would they replace the garbage bag? He even texted me to tell me what he was doing (that way the kids didn’t overhear him when he told me what he was doing).

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By the time the kids had to leave for school the garbage was still bag-less. Not only did no one replace the bag but someone threw garbage in the empty garbage can. We also found the empty package for the frozen waffles in the sink and my daughter meticulously took the time to wrap a banana peel in a paper towel and leave it on the counter. For the amount of energy it took her to wrap the banana peel she could have put a new bag in the kitchen garbage.

FAIL! MAJOR FAIL!

Before my husband left for work he put a new bag in the can.

At dinner last night he let the kids on to his little test. Of course they were both full of excuses why they didn’t replace the bag. My favorite was “I thought we were out of bags” (if my daughter were to open up the cabinet under the sink she would have saw an almost full giant box of bags from Costco).

There is lazy and then there is L-A-Z-Y. I think this situation is more pathetic than lazy.

What would YOUR teen do? Do you think your teen would replace the bag? If you answered “yes” PLEASE share with me your secrets. Apparently we are doing something wrong when it comes to teaching my kids responsibility. Or is this just typical teenage behavior? I don’t remember being like this when I was a teen. I was always helpful. I was far from perfect but at least I did the responsible thing.

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Kimberly

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5 Ways to Encourage Your Kids to Use Social Media Wisely

child and social media

Social media can prove irresistible to tech-savvy kids who want to stay connected to their friends. Yet it seems like almost every day, the news reports predators stalking children through social media. The Miriam Hospital’s Centers for Behavioral and Preventive Medicine 2013 study found that the use of social media can even make a child’s grades drop. A degree in criminal justice could lead to a career protecting children in your community from the dangers of social media, but you can begin today by protecting your own children.

1. Don’t Share Contact Information

You might think that your children have the common sense not to share their home address and phone numbers with strangers, but predators can be deceptive, befriending and engaging children in friendly conversation before asking for the information. Sit down with your kids and tell them that posting contact information online is completely off limits, and that if they’re ever asked to provide it, no matter how much they trust the person asking, they should show you the request immediately.

2. Don’t Post Overly Personal Content

Even if your children know not to give out their address or phone numbers, they may be in the habit of posting overly personal content without batting an eye. It is one thing to post information about movies, shows, and other interests, but children who are in the habit of sharing their every thought are in danger of giving away too much. Predators could take note of information like family members’ names and then approach a child with a fake message naming someone in the family.

Even with the dangerous issue of predators aside, posting overly personal information or photographs could backfire in the future when your children are applying for colleges and jobs. For example, a picture of your teen partying could look unprofessional to a prospective college or employer.

3. Don’t Disclose Location

Tell your children they can discuss where they have been on social media, but they should never post their current location or mention a place they are heading to. Predators in the area who have been cyber stalking your children could use this information to find them. For example, it’s all right for them to post that they went to a restaurant for dinner once they’re home, but they shouldn’t post that they’re currently alone at a café or are soon going to the movies.

Even when it comes to posting where children have been, they should proceed with caution. If they have regular band practice after school, for example, a predator could show up for the following session based on a post about the practice the same day each week.

Female student outdoors with computer

4. Limit Online Time

Once your children know what they ought to avoid posting online, the next best way to keep your kids from getting too focused on social media is to limit their online time. Limit personal computer time to no more than an hour per day, and if your children need to use a computer for schoolwork, check on them every so often to make sure they’re not playing on social media. Ask that kids turn off their smartphones when they go to bed, and confiscate the phones at bed time if need be.

5. Participate in Family Activities

Limiting your children’s online time and monitoring their computer use can lead to some tension between you and your children, and some children will do their best to get on social media when you’re not looking. An even more effective way to limit your children’s social media time is to insist on daily family time. Some fun family activities include:

  • Enjoying dinner together
  • Going for an after-dinner run around the block or in the park
  • Going shopping
  • Seeing a movie
  • Playing video or board games

During family time, everyone — including the adults — should shut off their cell phones and focus on one another. Lead by example and give your family your full attention.

Encourage your children to use social media wisely not only by telling them not to share contact information, overly personal information, photos and locations where they are or will be, but also by limiting their daily social media time and encouraging them to participate in family activities. Preventing the potential negative consequences of social media use is partly education and partly becoming more involved in your children’s lives. 

About the Author: Duane Hanson is a contributing writer and high school counselor. He recommends that parents play an active role in their children’s experience with social media.

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