If you don’t have anything nice to say… don’t say anything at all!!!!!


My mom instilled in me at a very young age that if I “don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all“. I have since gone and embedded that thought into my own children.

I’m an obese woman. I always have been and most likely always will be. I know from personal experiences that there are some people out there who are totally against overweight people. People have misconceptions about overweight people, thinking that they are lazy, stupid, smelly and a dozen other adjectives. As if overweight people weren’t frowned upon enough (overweight people are less likely to get hired for certain jobs, accepted into elite colleges, make less money and are less likely to be promoted), we have to deal with people who think we’re all lazy, smelly and sit around all day downing gallons of soda and licking the grease off our fingers from inhaling several bags of chips.

There maybe SOME overweight individuals who are like that – but you CANNOT lump all of us together. That is like saying ALL blondes are dumb and ALL Irish people drink too much. FYI… I’m a natural dirty blonde and I’m far from dumb (3.76 college GPA), and I have Irish in me and I rarely drink.

I’m overweight. If you knew me personally you would see that I DON’T sit around eating chips (chips are too greasy and upset my stomach – I can only eat very little at any given time), I’m not lazy (although I hate to clean – LOL) and I sure as heck don’t smell (I shower daily).

I am overweight not because I eat tons of garbage foods. I’m overweight because I make wrong choices. I will opt to make Ramen Noodles (high in sodium) instead of grilling some chicken and making a salad. Or I’ll opt for Spaghettios with Franks instead of a can of low-sodium chicken soup. I also DON’T eat a ton of food. I had weight loss surgery. My pouch no longer exists (I hope to get that fixed some day) so everything I eat and drink goes directly into my intestines. I can’t drink and eat at the same time. Things like meat, rice and bread often get “stuck” if I eat too much (it gets backed up and it’s painful when that happens).

I don’t exercise. I know I should be I’m not a big fan of it. My exercise is primarily walking the dog and going up and down six flights of stairs a few times per day. Most of my day is spent on the computer, just sitting on my big ol’ butt. If I exercised I could lose some of the weight.


I’m overweight. I have health problems. The ONLY one that is due to my weight is Diabetes. My Iron & B-12 Anemias and Thyroid problems are NOT weight related. Up until about two years ago I was a relatively healthy person.

It IS possible for overweight, even obese, people to be healthy. Yes, their weight might catch up to them eventually and cause health problems down the road, but that is not always the case.

I am in awe of overweight people who are happy with who they are and how they look. For me, my weight brings me down. I have ZERO self esteem and ZERO confidence because of my weight. I run from cameras and hate getting my picture taken. My kids probably only have a handful of photos of me that they can have long after I’m gone. I know that is very wrong. It’s just how I feel. I know that if I lost the weight I would be happier, healthier and have the confidence and self esteem needed to tackle the world and make my life the best it could be. I hope that I can do that some day. If you have ever tried to lose weight you know it’s easier said then done.

There are several people who are considered overweight, even obese, who don’t let their weight hold them back. I aspire to be like them one day. I never met them personally so I don’t know if they did have any insecurities about their weight. They could have but they certainly don’t show it. Some who come to mind are…

  • John Candy
  • Kirstie Alley
  • Oprah
  • Chris Farley
  • Kevin James
  • Gabby Sidibe
  • Nia Vardalos
  • Sara Rue
  • Jack Black
  • Orson Welles
  • Marlon Brando
  • Phillip Seymour Hoffman

Many of these actors and actresses have been very public about their weight struggles. Others have gone on to lose a lot of weight (and look fabulous too!).

Photo Source: www.Politico.com

Photo Source: www.Politico.com

Recently New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has come under fire for being overweight. I’m in New York, so he’s not my Governor, but I do like the man. Please don’t turn this into a political debate! I don’t like him form a political standpoint – I just think he has a good head on his shoulders and he tells it like it is. He also seems down to Earth and doesn’t act all “high and mighty” just because he’s a Governor.

Governor Christie is constantly under fire for his weight. In fact, people have gone so far as to say he could never be President because of his weight. I would love for those people to explain to me WHY your weight determines whether or not you can run our country? Last I checked there were no weight requirements. It’s not like he’s trying out for the Rockettes where he needs to be a certain height and weight. It ticks me off to no end when I hear people bash him and his abilities to do a good job for his state, or our country, just because he enjoys a good cheeseburger and he can’t squeeze into skinny jeans. Grrrr!!!!!

Now another well known figure is being bashed due to her weight – actress Melissa McCarthy. She stars in the CBS series Mike and Molly. She was also in the film Bridesmaids.

Melissa is staring along side Jason Bateman in a new film called Identity Thief. The film is currently in theaters.

My husband and I saw a trailer for the film a few months ago when we were at the movie theater. Honestly, it looked kind of stupid and not like something we would go and see. BUT… some films that did horrible in theaters have gone on to be television classics, such as A Christmas Story, Elf and Napoleon Dynamite.

Famed film critic, Rex Reed, recently posted his review of the film Identity Thief. It’s not shock that he thought the film stunk. Fine and dandy. He’s entitled to his opinion. After all, his opinion is his career. HOWEVER… it’s what he said about actress Melissa McCarthy that was totally uncalled for and unnecessary. He should be ashamed of himself for bashing her like he did.

Identity Theft Poster

Photo Source: FirstShowing.net

Reed’s review is below. I have bolded his jabs at Melissa for her weight.

How many ways can a grown person waste valuable time and lose vital I.Q. points at the same time? If you’re a movie critic, the possibilities are unlimited. And they all come together in a new chunk of junk called Identity Thief.

In the trashy, stupefying screenplay by Craig Mazin, Jason Bateman is a Denver accountant named Sandy Patterson—another in a long line of victims of the increasingly dangerous world of cyber-crime—whose credit card has been hacked and copied by a felonious thief in Miami (cacophonous, tractor-sized Melissa McCarthy). Now there are two Sandy Pattersons—an innocent fraud victim on one side of the country facing bankruptcy and a screeching, humongous creep on a marathon shopping spree on the other side of the country who is running up thousands of dollars in charges and wrecking her victim’s credit rating in the process. The police do nothing, the male Sandy loses his job and faces jail time, and the only solution is to devise a plan to apprehend the fake, female Sandy and drag her from Florida back to Colorado to turn herself in and clear his good name. In order to stretch a five-minute idea into 107 minutes of contrived drivel some people may mistake for plot, the plan backfires. She beats him up, steals his wallet, wrecks his rental car and leaves him stranded on the highway in a pair of pants stolen from a dead hobo. With no identification or money, he gets arrested for assaulting an officer, drug dealing and illegal gun possession. And still, against all odds, they hit the road to Colorado pursued by killers, bounty hunters and “skip tracers,” who track down crooks who owe money to gangsters, jump parole and get involved in other intrigues invented by hack Hollywood screenwriters. The snafus in the worst road movie since The Guilt Trip plunge Mr. Bateman and his female hippo into a motel with only a double bed, a grotesque sex scene with a pickled reprobate she picks up in a bar who demands a threesome, a violent bar fight that bloodies his nose, a kidnapping, a multi-car collision going the wrong way on the freeway … but why go on? They seem to be making it up as they go along, in a movie that threatens never to end.

By the time they got lost in the woods and fall into a den of hissing snakes, Elvis has long since left the building. Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids) is a gimmick comedian who has devoted her short career to being obese and obnoxious with equal success. Poor Jason Bateman. How did an actor so charming, talented, attractive and versatile get stuck in so much dreck? Identity theft is a real plague that is happening so often that people tremble every time they approach an ATM. It’s a deserving subject that should be explored in a more viable film, but Identity Thief is so bad it’s hard to believe it wasn’t directed by Judd Apatow or the Farrelly Brothers.

Maybe I’m wrong, but isn’t Rex Reed an adult? His offensive remarks against Melissa and her weight make him sound like a fifth grade boy taunting an overweight child on the playground. The movie sucks. We get it. But Melissa’s weight is NOT the reason why the film is not his “cup of tea”. Would the movie have been any better if Melissa’s character was played by someone like Jennifer Aniston, Jesssica Biel or Megan Fox? Highly doubtful.

Photo Source: Movies.Yahoo.com

Photo Source: Movies.Yahoo.com

We all know Melissa is overweight. Melissa knows she’s overweight. But to liken her to a tractor and a hippo it totally uncalled for. Not that her weight should have any bearing on the film, a simple comment like “chubby” or “overweight” would have suffice. Of course it would not be necessary either because her weight should have nothing to do with the writing and acting in the film.

For shame on you Rex Reed for your totally uncalled for, nasty, rude and obnoxious remarks about Melissa. You do have a right to your opinion, however NOT at the expense of others. If you are prejudice against overweight people KEEP IT TO YOURSELF! Like my mom used to say, if you don’t have anything nice to say DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!

I have lost all respect for Reed. His reviews mean absolutely nothing to me anymore. Personally I think he should not only publicly apologize to Melissa, but also in person. However I have a feeling that someone who is clearly crude and obnoxious like Reed won’t lower himself off his pedestal to do that. Maybe we should all start bashing him about his big nose? Or how about the fact that he was ARRESTED for shoplifting?

Kudos to you Melissa McCarthy for being proud of who you are and what you do and for not letting your weight hold you back. Not only that I think you are a beautiful woman. 🙂

Stepping down off my soapbox now.

What do you think about this matter? Do you think Reed’s comments were totally uncalled for? Do you think it was righ of him to bash her like he did? Do you agree that he could have done the review WITHOUT making all those nasty comments about Melissa’s weight?

Soap Box


Related Posts:

About Kimberly

Kimberly Vetrano resides in the suburbs of New York City with her family and "mini zoo" consisting of five cats, a dog and a Goldfish. Kimberly is a teacher's assistant for a Kindergarten class. When she is not working or blogging, Kimberly enjoys taking photos of nature and hanging out with family and friends.


  1. Angela Kinder says:

    You hit the nail on the head! I’m also overweight, and while people tend to think I have tons of health problems BECAUSE of my weight, I don’t. I’m not a glutton, eating all day. I try to exercise but because of my arthritic hip (from a car accident in 2004), it makes it hard. But I do try. I’m not stupid- I had a 3.7 GPA in high school.

    I wish people would focus on the positive, instead of the negative. EVERYONE has flaws and to insult them because of those flaws just makes the other person look incompetent.

    Now I’ll get off my soap box before I contradict what I was also raised to believe: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”.

  2. Saw this on Mitch’s FB page. I agree w/ you 100% – it’s his job to critique the movie, not the weight of the actors in it.

    I too am overweight … I don’t exercise as much but hopefully will start up again sometime soon. I also have a stomach condition so that makes it hard to eat what I want, and I have to have a balance of what I want and what I should eat.

  3. I find it disgusting the way that Chris Christie’s weight is an issue. And Melissa McCarthy? Between her TV success and movies (oscar nominee, hello), I hope she is sitting around being all “haters gonna hate, yo.”
    I really worry about kids today who are growing up fat…it seems like they are learning that they are acceptable targets.
    Hedy @ Penny for my Thoughts recently posted..2013 AAA Travel Marketplace coming

  4. Awesome post!!! You got it tottaly correct. I could not believe what he saif about her. He can bash the film as much as he wants. But what he did is a personal attack on Melissa McCarthy. He did exactly what he tach our kids not to do, bully. He is simply an adult BULLY! I personally think he should apologize to her. He needs some kind of treatment for his anger issues.

  5. Amen!!! I saw what governed Christie said on the news last week and I’m soo glad he told that doctor to shut up….I really don’t get why people judge others. It’s one thing to have an opinion but to bash someone on their appearance is disgusting. BTW I love Melissa, she’s hilarious!!!

  6. I never read his reviews but if I did I would want to know about the movie not about his name calling of the actors. This review was unacceptable and unprofessional. He just sounds mean.

  7. Your headline is a lesson I wish we could give to everyone in the world. I’m really irritated by the amount of nastiness these days, and the sad thing is, those mean, negative people are the ones who get all the attention.
    Auriette recently posted..Living an Unfulfulled Life