We’ve all been there, setting unrealistic resolutions that come back to haunt us. Yes, I’ve been there…multiple times. However, Dr. Joe believes on setting no-resolutions and focusing on creating positive change to reinvent yourself.
Below please find Dr. Joe’s tips that are as easy to follow as A-B-C!
A – A Plan of Action. Create a plan of action with manageable goals that are broken down into smaller steps. One of the biggest obstacles we face is setting up unrealistic goals that are not sustainable. The grander the plan, the less likely we will achieve it, so focus on short goals and how you can accomplish them. Take note of your progress the first few days, and re-adjust your goals according to how difficult or easy it was for you. You want to challenge yourself with a healthy competition, as you can’t jump to the top of the mountain in one giant leap. Reward yourself along the way and go public…you’ll be more apt to hold yourself to it.
B – Believe in Yourself. Believing in yourself creates an environment of positivity around you. Do not use your word against yourself or against others. If you say, “I’m a failure” or “I can’t” you just created the negative space to not accomplish what you set out to change. Stay positive and don’t allow “not” into your vocabulary.
C – Communicate. Communicating more effectively will enhance all your relationships. Communication is more than verbalizing what you want to say; it’s also about listening and reflecting (rephrasing what a person has just said to you). Avoid interrupting or being judgmental and show your interest in what’s being said to you.
D – The Do Not’s. Do Not put yourself in upsetting situations or say ‘yes’ when you really mean ‘no’. Do Not overindulge in alcohol and sweets – you’ll regret it later. Do Not forgo your exercise regimen – it helps to keep balance in your life and burn off the extra holiday calories. Do Not ignore the physical (lack of energy, insomnia) and mental signs (irritability, forgetfulness, lack of resilience, case of the blues) of stress – it will diminish your joyful spirit. Do Not pin your happiness on how successful the holidays are – let go of perfectionist tendencies.
E – Energy. If you’re overwhelmed, over-committed, over-spent, and over-tired, it’s ok to say NO to others and focus your energy on where and how you need to spend your time. Don’t waste your precious energy on negative experiences and thoughts. Think optimistically about your positive present purpose and where you are headed with passion.
F – Forgive. Forgiveness is about letting go of resentment and negative thoughts that prevent you from moving forward with a healthy mindset. Move away from the role of victim and from the control and power the offending person and/or situation has in your life.
G – Gratitude. Begin and end each day with a “thank you,” and live with an appreciation for all the special moments (both positive and negative) you encounter in your life. Finding a way to become thankful for your troubles also can become blessings.
ABOUT DR. JOE: Dr. Joe is a father to almost triplets, children’s book author, and clinical and family psychologist in private practice in Manhattan, Staten Island, and New Jersey. For more information about Dr. Joe, please visit: www.drjoetaravella.com and follow him on twitter @drjoetaravella.