When you lose a spouse suddenly, it feels like nothing will ever be okay again. Learn some coping methods for dealing with the sudden death of a spouse.
There’s nothing more heartbreaking and devastating than the sudden death of a spouse. One day you’re happily married, the next your stranded, alone, and unsure of how to even begin to pick up the pieces.
You’re probably feeling overwhelmed and anxious. How can you juggle these intense emotions, the logistics of your spouse’s death and this massive lifestyle change? Keep reading as we break down how to cope after the sudden death of a spouse.
Go Easy on Yourself After the Death of a Spouse
The first thing you should know and accept after your spouse’s death is there is no right way to feel after your partner has died. There are so many factors that lead to your reaction such as how your spouse died, how happy you were in your marriage, the age of your children (if you have them) and how dependent you were on each other. Every grieving situation is different.
There’s a chance you could be feeling shocked, anxious, heartbroken and numb. Or you could feel guilty that you are the one alive. You might even feel relieved that your spouse isn’t suffering anymore if they were ill for a while.
There’s also a chance that you could feel angry or resentful at your spouse for stranding you, especially if their death was self-inflicted. You could find yourself crying all the time, or you might not cry at all. How you grieve is totally unique to you and your situation.
Tell Your Friends and Family What You Need
There’s also a good chance that your friends and family might not know what to say or do. They might even avoid you, or say cliche things like your spouse is “in a better place.”
Know most people mean well and are usually uncomfortable and unsure about how to deal with death. This doesn’t mean they don’t love and care about you.
Try your best to tell those close to you what you do or don’t need. Or if you find those close to you avoid mentioning your spouse, and you actually want to talk about your late partner, let them know. Know that your friends and family are likely grieving too, and they might find comfort in sharing memories of your spouse.
Take Care of Your Physical Health
When you grieve, your body and your emotions can take a toll. You might find that you can’t sleep or eat. While this sounds easier said than done, make an effort to take care of yourself by exercising, getting enough sleep and eating well.
It’s also important that you don’t drown your sorrows in excessive drinking or medication. This behavior might just make your pain worse.
You should also let your healthcare provider know what you are going through. Especially if you are having a hard time doing everyday things like cooking for yourself or getting dressed.
Get the Support You Need
Dealing with the aftermath of sudden death can be confusing, lonely and depressing. There’s a chance you might find yourself turning inward when really you might be better off seeking support from your friends, family, counselor and or religious community (if you have one).
Joining a support group with other people who are grieving the death of a loved one can also be very comforting. Consult with your therapist, health care provider or even a local hospital on where you can find these groups. Some of these groups can even exist online.
Sort Your Social Life
Starting to navigate your social life freshly single can be complicated. Especially if you and your late spouse used to socialize regularly with other couples. You might be unsure about how you fit in now.
There’s a chance you might be feeling award attending parties or events by yourself. The best thing you can do is to tell your friends how you’re feeling. You might need to explain that you will have to avoid couples get-togethers and dinners for a while, and instead see your friends one-on-one.
Also, know that being single isn’t the worst. This can be a new opportunity for you to seek out new friends. You can expand your social network by taking a class or volunteering to get you out of the house and pursuing something meaningful.
How to Know If You’re Experiencing Complicated Grief
While grieving is a unique experience for everyone, you should also be aware of complicated grief. This type of grief prevents you from moving forward with your own life.
Signs of complicated grief can include a feeling that you have no purpose in life anymore. You might find yourself wishing you were also dead, as you lose the complete desire to socialize. Or you might have a hard time performing everyday tasks as you battle guilt or blame yourself for the death of your loved one.
If you can’t seem to get past any of these feelings, consult with your doctor or therapist who should be able to suggest treatment options.
Consider Hiring a Wrongful Death Attorney
If your spouse died due to the oversight, carelessness, negligence, or deliberate act of another party, you might want to consider hiring a wrongful death attorney. A wrongful death case is usually a situation that could have been prevented if the offending party was more careful.
Often these deaths are sudden and due to a traumatic accident or direct nature. This could be either the result of a violent crime or negligence of a business owner to follow standard safety regulations. Because of this, it can be beneficial to consult with an experienced attorney and review vital information which can determine the likelihood of a case’s success. You can also use this as an opportunity to ask about the process duration for wrongful death case, in order to prepare yourself for what lies ahead.
Wrongful death could also be the result of another party being reckless, such as drunk driving, or the medical malpractice of a doctor or health care professional. If any of these situations is what led to your spouses’ sudden death, you should consult with a medical malpractice attorneys, such as Baker and Gilchrist immediately. Another thing to consider is life insurance. If your spouse was insured, you are entitled to life insurance compensation. In that case, hiring a life insurance attorney is a smart thing to do because insurance companies will try to deny your claim in any way possible.
Start Healing Today
Now that you know how to cope with the sudden death of a spouse, start your journey of healing today. Know that coping with death takes time, so be easy on yourself, and seek the help of others whenever possible. For more lifestyle tips, check out the rest of our blog.