As a parent, you want to equip your teen with the skills necessary to navigate through the world with a minimal amount of pain and hurt. However, adolescence is typically when teens break away emotionally from their parents as they try to find their own identity. Even though you and your teen are entering a new phase in your relationship, there are still some parenting techniques and tips you can employ to make a difference in how your teen transitions into a healthy, capable adult.
Tip #1. Set Rules and Consequences Up Together
As your teen gains more independence, now is a good time to discuss the house rules and the consequences of breaking them. Often, your teen will come up with some meaningful contributions to the discussion. Hold the conversation when you are both calm and relaxed rather than immediately after an infraction. Establishing expectations on both sides will give you both an idea of what happens and what punishments are fair.
Tip #2. Communicate About Dangers
Your teen may feel like he or she knows everything there is to know about life, but you can make them better prepared when you have open and honest discussions about things like sex, drugs, drinking, bullying and even social media responsibilities. Make sure they are educated on the facts of each topic rather than rely on what they hear through their friends. Brainstorm ways that your teen can handle various situations, from being offered alcohol at a party to dealing with a bully. Planning, preparation and information also leaves the door wide open for your teen to come talk to you about any of these issues in the future.
Tip #3. Know When to Step In and When to Back Off
Your teen needs opportunities for independence now, so give them a chance to do things on their own, within reason. Step in when your teen is thinking about doing something harmful or permanent, but in general, let them have some leeway when it comes to day to day decisions. Realizing the consequences of their choices are some of the most powerful life lessons, and sheltered or smothered teens may not develop a healthy sense of self awareness. Pick your battles when it comes to your teenager and don’t nitpick over small matters, yet step in when it is something that is significant or potentially serious.
Tip #4. Get to Know Their Friends
You may not like your teen’s friends, but when you get to know them better, it gives you insight into the type of people your teen identifies with, for good or bad. It also gives your teen a chance to see how his or her friends react around others, adults specifically. If your teen’s friends are not respectful, responsible or otherwise appropriate, your teen will see that quickly. Knowing about your teen’s friends also gives you another avenue for communication—you can ask about the happenings in the friend’s lives and gain insight into your own teen’s thoughts, concerns or achievements.
Tip #5. Set the Example
Your teenager may act like he or she doesn’t want much to do with you but in reality, your actions and behaviors still have a big influence on how your teen views the world. Make sure your actions in dealing with others, handling stress and challenges and expressing yourself reflect what you want your teen to see you do. You can be a good role model and help your teen develop appropriate ethical and moral standards that will help guide them through their later teen and adult years.
Tyler Jacobson is a freelance writer with expertise in marriage and family development and adolescent issues. For more parenting tips, visit HelpYourTeenNow.com.