*This post was developed via a partnership with BetterHelp.

You might have heard of “having the talk” with your child. We usually use that to signify the big talk about puberty, sex, and menstruation with our children. However, there are more than one “big talks” to have with your child. Have you considered talking about sexting and online safety? It’s more common than you think these days.

You may feel that your child is “too young” to hear about these topics. However, the unfortunate reality is that someone is going to tell them about it. It’s better if it’s you. If your child gets their information from an unsafe source or someone who is trying to groom them, they may learn the opposite lesson of what you want them to learn.

Even though it’s awkward and difficult, talk to your child about these topics to protect them and allow them to make informed decisions in their lives and relationships.

The Talk: Talking About Sex and Puberty

We’ll cover the most obvious topic first. Having the first discussion with your child about puberty should be done around pre-teen age. It can be done earlier by helping your child identify parts of the body and what they are for.

If you’re nervous about presenting the material or discussing adult subjects, try buying a puberty book with drawings. Your child can read through it on their own, and you can set up a time to discuss any questions they might have afterward.

Talking about sex and reproductive health is essential. If a child doesn’t know how their body works, there’s more of a likelihood for them to get pregnant as a teenager or to get someone pregnant. You must explain safe sex, using contraception, and testing for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Don’t just leave it up to the school, as many schools teach an “abstinence-only” method, which can leave your children confused and feeling rebellious.

It’s important to focus on what pregnancy means, how a period might feel, and common experiences children have with their bodies during puberty, depending on their biological sex.

Covering LGBTQ+ topics as well can help your child if they’re not a heterosexual or cisgender person. They will feel heard and be able to make decisions regarding their relationships in the future. That’s something that school doesn’t cover!

Mental Health

You may feel like your child is fine and doesn’t have a mental health problem. Even if that’s true, it’s important to talk to your child about mental health because millions of people around the world experience mental health conditions.

Depression, anxiety, and phobias are among the most common mental health conditions that teens experience. However, teens and children can experience all types of conditions, and your child may simply be hiding symptoms from you.

Having a discussion about mental health and letting your child know you’ll support them and get them some help is essential. Talk about what suicide is and why it’s not a good option. Offer your child a crisis number and a way to come to you if they’re ever in crisis.

Trauma

Another topic to discuss with your child is trauma. Even if your life is pretty good and you don’t believe your child has ever gone through trauma, it’s quite likely that they will know someone who has or will experience a trauma someday.

Traumas can be any type of extremely distressing experience, such as:

• Sexual assault
• Physical assault
• Harassment and stalking
• An abusive relationship
• Abusive family members
• Witnessing abuse of someone else
• Being part of the military (in some cases)
• Medical procedures and surgeries
• Close deaths in the family
• Seeing an animal or person die or get hurt
• Being bullied in school

Traumas are very common, and people experience them daily. As much as we don’t want our children to be hurt, anything can happen, which is why it’s important to tell your kids how to handle trauma and what symptoms it might cause.

Give them resources and safe spaces they can go to in case they need to report something. Your child is more likely to report an assault to you if they feel like you’ll believe them and take it seriously.

Online Safety

Teens are some of the largest consumers of online media. In fact, their self-esteem is highly connected to what they see online. That’s why it’s important to explain to your children that what they see online isn’t always reality.

Show your children that influencers and their favorite celebrities and stars use filters and photoshop to change their bodies and faces to be unrealistic. Explain what targeted advertising is and why they might see it.

Explain that there are many predatory people online who pose as younger girls or young boys to try to reel in kids and hurt them. These people are very good at what they do and can even create false video chats with you online and record you. It happens every day.

Monitor sites like apps made for making friends and stranger video chat apps like “Omegle” that allow minors to talk to adults who may or may not be nude.

Dreams and Future Goals

Talk to your child about their dreams and goals for the future. It may seem like you know what they want to do, but it’s likely that you don’t if you’re not communicating with them. Even if you want your child to become a doctor or a lawyer or something that makes a lot of money, your child might not want to do that.

Pressuring a teen into doing something they don’t want to do is only going to cause them to feel shame about their wishes for their life. After all, they’ll someday be an adult with free will, and they’ll likely do what they want anyway. It’s better not to give them the chance to feel spite towards you.

If you give your child healthy tips and teach them about finances and responsibility, they’ll likely be able to make anything work out.

Healthy Relationships

Finally, it’s essential to talk to your child about healthy relationships. Many kids don’t have many examples of what a healthy relationship looks like. If you have been in an abusive relationship or have gotten divorced, it’s likely your child only has your situation as an example.

Get your child a book on healthy love and boundaries and talk them through it. Explain what an “unhealthy partner” looks like and talk about abusive trauma bonds. Talk about the different attachment styles and determine which one they might think they have.

Teens often feel like their relationships are the most important thing in their lives, and they may struggle with breakups and social pressure. Remember that this is normal. Your child will make some choices for themselves. However, monitor who they go out with and make sure to open a healthy dialogue about the people they’re dating so that your teen doesn’t feel like they need to hide anything from you.

If you want to learn more about adolescence and the trials that come with it, check out BetterHelp’s blog today for more information.