What happened last week with Asiana Flight 214 was tradgic. Two young girls lost their lives while others are still hospitalized clinging to life.
Seeing events like this play out on TV can have adverse effects on children, especially young children. My kids were 2 and 4 1/2 when the events of 911 took place. Even though they were very young they still had a lot of questions and concerns. They were especially worried that it could happen again, and to our family.
I have an interesting article from Dr. Prakash Masand which can help parents of young children deal with tradgic events.
Dr. Prakash Masand, CEO of Global Medical Education (GME), an online medical education resource that provides timely, unbiased, evidence-based medical education and advice, and a faculty member of the Department of Psychiatry at the Columbia University Medical Center in New York, says while these conversations can be difficult, they are necessary for the mental health and well- being of your children.
His advice to make it easier for parents:
Ask questions and be supportive – Never assume your child fully understands tragic events. Children have wild imaginations and have a hard time sorting their emotions out during a tragedy. Ask direct questions like, “what are you feeling” and “what’s bothering you” to fully understand what’s going through their mind. Never ridicule or make fun of a child’s feelings and always offer support.
Encourage children to express feelings – This can be done through talking, drawing, playing or whatever means makes the child more comfortable.
Honesty pays – explain to your children that although a plane crash is rare, unfortunately it does happen from time to time. Put it into perspective for your child by showing them just how many planes take off and land safely everyday around the world, and explain to them that pilots and flight crews undergo extensive amounts of training.
Remain calm – Children love to mimic the behaviors of their parents. The way adults react to events is often the way the child perceives and reacts to the event so try and stay calm.
Maintain a child’s routine – After a traumatic event, stick to your child’s normal routine. Go to sleep and wake up at the same time, eat meals at the same time, and engage in every activity you usually do. Ignoring a child’s routine after tragedy will make him or her feel more anxious.
Reinforce a sense of security – Over the next few days, spend a little extra time with your child to reinforce feelings of safety and security.
Recognize a real phobia vs. a simple fear – Most children are afraid of one thing or another and most of them outgrow these simple fears. When a child has a real phobia, you want to look for signs of obsessive behaviors and thoughts, avoidance behaviors, recurring dreams/nightmares and being unable to become excited about something that should be fun. This is when parents should consider professional help.
These are great tips for tragic events that happen far away or in your own “backyard”.
Do you have any additional tips to share? Feel free to comment about them.
Kimberly
*I was not compensated for this post. I am sharing this for the benefit of my site readers.
Rosie says
these are good tips – it may make a difference as to the age, as this does seem good for younger kids in particular, but good for anyone, even grownups!
JRFrugalMom says
These are great tips, thank you. With four kids, I often wonder how to go about talking with them about the tragedies that surround us.
Kate F. says
These are great tips. It’s always difficult to find the right way to explain something like that to a child.
Robin Wilson says
These are all great tips. I think it is so important to talk to children about tragedies. If they know about it, they need to talk about it. If they don’t want to talk, then it is helpful for them to listen. You can talk to them and let them know how you feel and that it is okay for them to feel that way too.
md kennedy says
I always wondered myself how to talk to kids in the case of an awful thing happening (goodness forbid). I don’t have kids of my own, but I do have young nieces and nephews who are experiencing their parents’ awful divorce and many of these are applicable in that situation as well, so thank you for the primer.
Denise Taylor-Dennis says
These are great tips I try to shield my son from these stories since he is only 3 I know he would not understand yet. I know the time will come when I will have to explain something like this to him though.
Sandy VanHoey says
Super great tips! I know just last night, my grandson split his leg open pretty bad and had to have 19 stitches. It was very deep and my daughter said he screamed and screamed and with all the blood etc until he could get to the hospital, he asked if he was going to die. Child fears are real and they do get scared so I’m glad you shared all of this. Thank You!