Death is a part of life that we all have to deal with at some point or another. Dealing with all of the details when a loved one dies can be very stressful and much harder than you might imagine. The first time you ever go through this process can be shocking; the amount of details and money that are required is overwhelming.
Planning ahead can take the stress off of your loved ones and ensure that you have the kind of service that you want to have.
A few preparation tips:
- Choosing a funeral home is the first order of business. Call around and ask for a list of itemized prices. Kevin Bean Funeral Director and many others will be happy to provide you with prices as well as information on the advantages on pre-planning funerals.
- Call your minister or whomever it is that the deceased used for spiritual guidance.
- Ask for photos from friends and relatives.
- Make sure you have a good photo to give the funeral director. (It may be needed if you have to have a closed casket.)
- It is perfectly alright to ask for donations that will either go towards expenses or to the deceased’s favorite charity.
- Make sure to have a guest book from Forevory for people to sign.
- Don’t forget the ad placement for the obituary section of your local newspaper and possibly other papers in other cities the deceased may have lived.
- If you can, plan your funeral in advance so that the burden doesn’t get placed on those you leave behind.
Planning ahead for yourself:
The above list can help in planning your own funeral services, or you can start by using a planning tool like Memorial Preferences. Talk to one or more funeral directors to see if they can give you the service you wish to have. Using a checklist will help make sure that you don’t forget anything.
Most people know whether they want to be buried or cremated before they die. If you are able to plan everything ahead of time, then all you need do is leave your instructions for whomever is going to execute your will etc.
If you are going to go with cremation, make sure to be specific as to what is to be done with your ashes. An urn is great if that is your choice and your family wishes to have it, but many people like to have their ashes scattered somewhere; sometimes you need a permit to do that. If you are going to have them scattered on private property, you need only get the owners permission. Public lands and parks might be different and require a permit. Most public lands like woodlands and such have a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy and only require that you don’t scatter the ashes within one hundred yards of roads, public walks or trails as the ashes are noticeable.
Burials at sea have a much different set of rules. You can choose to either have a burial without cremation or to have the ashes scattered. Scattering ashes at sea requires no permits or notifications, but a regular burial at sea requires that you be a certain amount of miles from the shore and have a particular depth before you may do it. Also it requires notifying the EPA as well. You can look up the numbers to call and inquire about those easily.
No matter what you choose, make sure it is right for you and your family; you don’t want to place undue burden upon them in their time of grief.
Richard Hicks says
I think this is great advice. No one wants to think about death, but it is part of life and you will be relieved that plans are in place.
Michelle S says
My grandfather just passed two weeks ago and it shocked me to hear the total funeral costs for him! It was a good thing that my grandma and grandpa started funeral funds for themselves ahead of time. It is a part of life, but people want to focus more on living in the now, but let me tell you don’t leave your family with the cost of the funeral. We all think we’re going to grow old and pass, but only now is a given. The future is not.
Karen D says
I know that funeral homes are promoting pre-planning, but I think the general public is reticent. In many cases it makes total sense, especially for the elderly and terminally ill. Maybe we all should re-think our fear of death, so that those who remain, and grieving can focus on their emotions, and not have to try to be competent enough to do proper planning.
Sherri Lewis says
That is great advice. Not something anyone wants to think about, but should be done for those that you leave behind
ANN*H says
Yes this is something no one wants to think about. Being up in years I have already planned some things when I was younger. Sometimes what you want may change . The costs are high but dont feel pressure into anything if you cant afford it. Very good information you wrote for us. Thanks so much